Being one myself, I have done a lot of research over the years on the affects of this as well as Co-Dependency which is part of what develops most commonly in children and continues to affect us into our adult life. Here is a list of common traits of a child of an Alcoholic compiled […]
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Submission Read More »
The first time I heard the word protocol when introduced to BDSM it was some special ritualized order of things that can happen in a relationship. It was an unspoken word when I was single. You didn’t learn about protocol and no one I knew used a protocol to govern their own development and personal
How a Personal Protocol Can Aide Your Service Read More »
This is a guest post by fuzzyP, a male submissive in a relationship with his Goddess and a regular participant of the Submissive Guide chatroom. “Is It True That Female Dominants Are More About Mental Than Physical Dominance?” This question intrigued me. It’s one of several Luna passed along to me, but I don’t know
Are Female Dominants More About Mental Dominance Than Physical Dominance? Read More »
Essentially I think we all believe that Dominant/submissive is an exchange of power but when you talk about it with others there happens to be two schools of thought on it. It can really get confusing because each side believes they are right. I’d like to present to you the two ideas and let you
Who Really Has the Power in a D/s Relationship? Read More »
I’ve been putting this subject off, and I’m still sort of waffling on moving on to something else, but that’s mostly because, I’m not a legal professional, either. On this topic, in particular, I can only speak to my opinion, experience, and tenuous understanding of the law in New York State, and really don’t know
Kink and Mental Health: The Ethics and Legality of Consent Read More »
There is an art to maintaining any relationship but a long distance one requires a bit more work because you rarely, if ever, see each other in the flesh. LDRs, as they are often called, can drain the parties involved and cause much stress to see flourish. They aren’t impossible to have, but quite difficult
7 Ways to Maintain a Long Distance D/s Relationship Read More »
In D/s sexuality one of the more common rules is that the Dominant controls the orgasms and sexual release of the submissive. Some require that the submissive not even touch themselves without the say so of the Dominant. In this style of power exchange, it is familiar territory that the submissive will learn how to
Orgasm Control: Learning How to Ask for an Orgasm Read More »
As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dominant is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dominant. If you are playing with a new Dominant and aren’t asked this question, my advice is
Hard and Soft Limits? The Sooner You Know About Them The Better Read More »
After my last post on value which was about ownership and the transaction where my Master ‘bought’ me, someone emailed me to enquire about further ways ownership can be demonstrated and felt by the two people concerned. It really is a very personal thing. What means ownership to me might not be the same as what it
Collars and More: Symbols of Ownership in a D/s Relationship Read More »
Every time we have to face our family as a kink couple, Master and I have had to tone it down and disguise how we normally live our lives. Our family does not know how we live and they really don’t have any business knowing. I’m not going to ask my father what he does
Season’s Beatings: Navigating Holidays Around Your Family as a Kinky Couple Read More »
This is a guest post by fuzzyP, a male submissive in a relationship with his Goddess and a regular participant in the Submissive Guide chatroom. Since this is my first time writing in this venue, allow me to introduce myself briefly. I go by fuzzyP at the Submissive Guide and on other sites. In a
What Do Female Dominants Desire in a Male Submissive? Read More »
This is a guest post by Sephani. She contacted me via email with an interest in writing a post and here it is! Long-distance relationships (LDR) of any sort have always had negative press reviews and I’m sure all of us have heard the, “they never work” response at some point in time. Lifestyle LDR
5 Ways to Make Long Distance Relationships Work For You Read More »
When we first begin exploring submission and our desires to serve there are usually a lot of baggage we bring to the table. It can cloud our minds and impact how we serve and submit to someone else. No one comes without any baggage at all but the way you handle it and prepare for
Purging Your Emotional Garbage Can Will Prepare You Better for Service Read More »
Sexting gets so much bad press these days when it comes to teens sharing naughty pictures of themselves and their friends. It’s not just teens that are doing it though. The majority of the kink community uses mobile devices to carry on their kinky lives unbeknown-st to those around them at the office, on the bus or
How to Get Started With Sexting and Mobile Kink Read More »
This is a continuing discussion about Munches. If you’d like to read the first post, Attending a Munch now. Once you find a munch in your area, you may want to contact the hosts in advance and let them know you are coming. This way they can keep an eye out for you at the door,
I Found a Munch, Now What? Read More »
On the subject of sub drop and mental health issues, Aletheia asked: I have suffered from clinical depression since early adolescence, if not childhood. I’ve been on medication for ten years, and rarely feel depressed anymore. My mentor suggested that I might want to avoid heavy or intense play, as she suspects that with my
Kink and Mental Health: Can “sub drop” be a trigger? Read More »
Many of the BDSM activities we may engage in are inherently sexual in nature, even if no sex actually occurs. Being aware and using safe sex barriers when necessary is your protection from disease and infection. I’m amazed by casual play partners that don’t employ these simple techniques to protect themselves and future partners. But
A Safer Kinky Sex How-To Read More »
Every time we talk about sex and sexually related activities such as many of the BDSM and kinky play we do it’s important, if not imperative, that we are safe and aware of the most common sexually transmitted diseases and infections you can get. You should have tests for STDs regularly if you choose to
The 6 Most Common STDs Read More »
“What are your limits?” “Scat, blood, the dead and kids.” “You must be new.” “Huh?” “Only the novices have so few limits.” This is a real conversation. It happens all over the net and in munch groups. Sure there are no-limits slaves out there, but that’s just not as common as the rest of us. We come
Limits: Drawing That Line In The Sand Read More »
“Go to a munch!” That’s advice that you will often hear when you start exploring the BDSM lifestyle. But what is a munch? What can you expect from the people there? And what should you do to attend? Why should you attend a munch? This is often the first step in exploring the BDSM lifestyle
What to Expect When Attending a Munch Read More »
