Yesterday we talked about the three ways that people naturally process pain. Today and tomorrow I’m going to cover the ways we manage the pain we experience. I’m going to stick with describing the pain that we experience during play for this discussion. Now, part of these posts will talk about the benefits from play that […]
Processing Pain in Play: Negative Pain Management Techniques Read More »
Sadomasochism is the giving and receiving of sensations. In a lot of cases, this also includes pain. Many of the sadomasochistic tendencies bleed into our relationships in some form or other so what better discussion than to talk about processing pain. Over the next week, we’ll cover what the natural pain process is, pain management techniques, how
Processing Pain in Play: What is the Natural Process? Read More »
This is a guest post from Calliope. I’ve always thought of myself as a complete wuss when it comes to pain. My typical response to anything that hurts has always been of the “hide in my room and cry until it goes away” variety. Of course, “looking pitiful until someone takes mercy on me” has also
Exploring Endorphins from Pain Play for the First Time – A Point of View Read More »
When you’ve decided to venture out on a blind date with a prospective Dominant you’ll likely want to set up a safe call. A safe call is someone that is aware you are on a date, who you are with and what to do if you don’t call on time. It’s a check in, plain
5 Things to Give Your Safe Call Person Before You Go On That Kinky Date Read More »
You want to start attending the events in your local community but their dress code is “Fetish Wear Only.” How do you dress for these events without spending insane amounts of money and still look great? Fetish wear can be a lot of things but it’s usually clothing you wouldn’t wear out in the real
Building Your Fetish Wardrobe on a Budget Read More »
The standard American “Disney” propaganda tells us in no uncertain terms that we are to hold our love and our bodies back until we meet “the one” with whom we will discover that magical connection. It will last forever and ever, and there will be happy endings all around. A lot of us, men and
“Being Loved” versus “Being In Love” Read More »
The views in this article are mine and mine alone unless otherwise stated. I like those definitions especially the end part where they say “especially to orgasm”. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside! A little background I started masturbating at an early age as many of you may have, not knowing what it
When Masturbation Is No Longer Private – Playing With Yourself For Your Dominant Read More »
I can’t say that everyone gets into trouble without admitting that I get into trouble so here goes. I get into trouble. Not regularly or habitually, but sometimes. I’m in trouble right now in fact. Some of my punishment completed but I have a few weeks of “no pop” to get through yet. As a
You’ve Been a Bad Submissive: Learn How to Atone and Forgive Yourself Read More »
I know I say I use FetLife for a lot of my ideas on things to write about, and it’s true. There are many novices on there and the multitude of questions and topics that come up help me generate a lot of thoughts that I can put into words, opinions and hopefully helpful advice
There Is No Such Thing as Vanilla Life When You Are 24/7 Read More »
There are a few non-sexual things that just do it for me, things that I get totally involved in until everything else just melts away. Often to the detriment of everything else as I’m sucked into a whirling vortex of OCD and tweaker heaven. Especially when it comes to grocery shopping and menu planning. Which
Beginning Domestic Service: Making The Most Of A Frugal Food Budget Read More »
I know that if you spend any amount of time online in kink related social networks or chat rooms you will encounter the following person a time or two. This person identifies as sub and through their writing, you notice they treat every single Dominant as if they are serving them. Whether it be by
False Submission: Insta-Subs Online Read More »
How many of you post pictures on the Internet of your BDSM experiences? Or maybe on FetLife or your blog? Sharing photos has been something I have done from the very beginning. For a long time, though, I was uncomfortable showing my face in any fetish pictures since I was partly worried about the risk of being outed and
Showing Face: How Time Has Changed ThisGirl’s Perceptions of Sharing Photos Online Read More »
I’ve not experienced a D/s breakup and I hope I will never have to, but I have experienced heartache and divorce so I’m drawing my experience of those to write this post. I do hope that it will help those of you going through the painful time from the realization of the end and through
The Heartache of a Breakup: Recovering from a BDSM Relationship Ending Read More »
Sometimes it happens that there is more than one D/s or M/s family under one roof. Many wonder how this could work out. Sometimes this happens for financial reasons; while for others it happens simply because it can work and be fun. If your family is planning on moving in with another lifestyle family there
How More Than One D/s Household Lives Together Read More »
Books are a wonderful way to learn on your own about BDSM, submission, sex and all the other activities you can explore. But who wants to carry a BDSM book onto the bus? Kindle (and other readers) are an excellent way to hide your book choices and still bring them all with you. I’ve loved
BDSM Books You Can Get on Kindle Read More »
In August of 2008, I entered the world of BDSM and, within a few months, found a steady play partner. Visiting his home was like visiting the most amazing toy store a lifestyler could ever imagine. He had all kinds of toys from homemade to special order. I quickly learned about various implements; I found
My Toys Or Yours? Building Your Own Toybag On a Budget Read More »
When a BDSM novice comes to me to ask for advice I like to refer them to a few blogs that I enjoy who tell it like it is. A blog written by someone living and exploring a kink lifestyle is a valuable resource. What makes it difficult for any novice is that there are
Failing to Find a Good BDSM Education Online Read More »
I’m always amazed at the number of submissives that contact me who are in online-only relationships; even though that is how I started with KnyghtMare. An online relationship is unique in that you are connecting with each other emotionally and mentally before physical attraction has a chance to impact your decisions. Just the other day
Am I Ready to Go from Online Submission to Real Life? Read More »
How often have you dressed in a sexy corset or other fetishwear, only to experience ‘spillage’ when you bend over to serve your Master a drink? Fun though that might be for your Master, it might be a bit embarrassing for you. An elegant way around this problem is the ‘Bunny Dip’. This is a
Add The Bunny Dip to Your List of Submissive Positions for a Playboy Bunny Flair Read More »
A friend asked me the other day what was necessary in a D/s or TPE relationship in order to make it fulfilling for me. It was quite an interesting question and one I’d like to answer here. First things first; a TPE or Total Power Exchange is where the submissive has surrendered all control to
The Bare Necessities of a Total Power Exchange Relationship Read More »
