Presented with the dilemma of being outspoken, independent and strong-willed when submissive desires crop up, what do you do? Are these personality traits incompatible? I’m here (and living proof) that no, they are not. You can be all of these things and still be submissive. A Dominant friend of mine explained it best, “You’re a strong submissive […]
Strong-Willed and Opinionated: Can I be Submissive? Read More »
As a woman, wife, and sub I often times feel like the weight of the world rest with me. In every relationship, there is give and take and a D/s relationship is no different. Who bears the brunt of the responsibility? As a submissive, our existence is solely to please our master, although often passed
The Balance of Responsibility in a D/s Relationship Read More »
There is some recent discussion of “breaking a slave” going on on the popular social network, FetLife right now. I’m watching it spread across the groups that I’m in and thought I’d not chip into those discussions but share my thoughts and opinions on it right here. These are not the only interpretations and I
What Does “Breaking a Slave” Mean? Read More »
I had originally planned to write about a different topic, was well on my way in developing the article, then I realized at some point that I kept coming back to just what is honor and integrity? So here we have it my exploration on the subject… Honor and integrity, we say and hear these
Being About It: Honor and Integrity as a Submissive Read More »
A slave I admire wrote a blog on how she felt she had changed since she met her Master. She wanted to go back to the more outgoing, social being she had been before she met Him. After all, she pointed out, this was what had attracted Him to her in the first place. This
Changing for Master While Honoring and Maintaining Ourselves Read More »
Before I entered a D/s relationship masturbation was a regular recreational activity for me. It was also private. Even when I was married I didn’t masturbate in front of him or let him know when I was taking care of myself. It just wasn’t something I shared. Neither did he. And then I committed myself
How Masturbation Changed in My D/s Relationship Read More »
So you’ve discovered kink and want to try some things out. You talk to your partner about it. Unfortunately, no matter how you suggest things to your partner they aren’t interested. They are really vanilla. It may be obvious that I’m not talking about the ice cream flavor here, but if you are really a
But My Partner is Vanilla…: Three Options Available To You When Your Partner Isn’t Kinky Read More »
How many times have you heard a submissive say how he/she loves to be told they are a “good girl/boy” by their dominant? Yet how many times have any of them been able to pin point the why of the effect it has on them? What is it about those words from their dominant that differs from
Super-Ego And The Good Girl Read More »
“Safe spaces require that we appreciate and respect the vulnerability of others and grace it with our own.” – Christen Killick Good communication is the cornerstone for a great relationship, whether in a Dominant/submissive dynamic or not. When you’ve been at this for a while, you don’t have to think much about it because it
Creating a Safe Space: Enhancing Communication in D/s Relationships Read More »
My dominant, Grimly, and I are in a long distance relationship of 200 miles and have been since we commenced our relationship in 2005. To be honest, I never really planned on having a long distance relationship it just so happened that the dom I ended up being attracted to was that far away and
Going the Distance – How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship Read More »
The world is full of automatic responses that people use to common questions. One of the most common questions among submissives is “Why do you submit?” and what’s the response 9 times out of 10? “To please him.” Sure it’s a selfless response, but is it always the best answer and perhaps not the most
Why “Pleasing Him” Isn’t Always Good Enough Read More »
Let’s start off with me telling you that I do have tattoos. I have one on my ankle that I haven’t looked at in a while and hope has faded (the name of a once love), my children s initials on my back that actually spell out BLT yes I’ve heard all the jokes! I
You Tattooed What on Your Ass? – Rational Thinking about Relationship Tattoos Read More »
I’ve been struggling with my submission recently. It’s been a difficult and painful experience for both KnyghtMare and myself. I’ve been resisting my natural desires to serve and obey and become questioning and testy. As I try to say as much as possible, I’m not a perfect submissive and I have issues like many of
How Making a Cup of Coffee Centers Me Read More »
Being a domestic submissive, one of my main purposes is to keep the house neat at all times. This task is not always so easy, especially when you hate doing them. I’ve never been much of a cleaner; Cleaning has always been on the bottom of my to-do list. Once a week I would spend
Domestic or Dreadful: Your Journey to Domestic Satisfaction Read More »
They want submission but no emotional connection. Is conditional emotional attachment enough? Is He Emotionally Not Available, or Just Not Available? It is possible that emotional availability is not the problem at all — it’s just plain availability. All of us have busy lives these days. He probably has a job; he might have family
What to Do When Your Dominant is Not Emotionally Available Read More »
Parties are a ‘rite of passage’ for some in the BDSM community. How do you find one? What can you expect? And most importantly (for me) what on earth can you wear? Where do you find a party? The most popular place now is the event listings on FetLife. You can browse through ‘events near
Let’s Party! Finding Local Play Parties Read More »
Ever since I entered “the lifestyle,” I have strived to attend as many educational demos as possible. My local dungeon, The Red Chair, offers a monthly educational demo on a wide variety of topics. Since I have always believed that we should never stop learning and teaching, I make an effort to attend those demos
The Returning a Collar After a Break Up Read More »
The reality of long-distance relationships, or any non-live-in relationship, is that you will have to handle periods of absence. It’s a painful and bitter reminder that you are not together and that your desires for each other have to go unquenched. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get through them with a few coping techniques.
Handling Absence in a Long-Distance Relationship Read More »
There once was a time when I would have turned my nose up to bootblacking (gasp). And the germaphobe in me would have been mortified at the sheer thought of placing my lips or any other parts of my face on a pair of boots. Yet, I sit here today reflecting on my first boot
A Personal First: Bootblacking and Boot Worship Read More »
Every day I’m exposed to or learn about another kink or fetish that I was not aware of. It’s a wonderful and fascinating experience that continues to expand my education and curiosity. Just as when we were very young and asked our parents, “what’s that?” constantly, I’m like a child growing and developing opinions on
Your Kink is Not My Kink and That’s Okay Read More »
