Disclaimer: This essay is not about when you encounter or find out your Dominant is cheating, but rather an agreement in place that your Dominant can play with others. About three years ago KnyghtMare and I had a discussion about opening the relationship up for SM play with others. From what I am exposed to […]
Novice submissives all over trying to find a Dominant to be with. I’ve talked with so many that value some experience in their Dominant choices but what of novice Dominant? Are drive and desire not enough? Are they left to their own devices? I recommend everyone give a moment to think about the value in
What Novice Dominants Really Want in a More Experienced Submissive Read More »
…and why you should stop fussing about it. I’ve been reminded again today as I lay about sick with a snazzy summer flu of feeling like a failure or useless that I can’t serve him and even worse when he brings me my medicine and tucks me in bed for another afternoon nap. So, I
8 Reasons Why Your Dominant Takes Care of You When You Are Sick Read More »
“Are you kinky?” he asked as he leaned in for a kiss. “What? Um… no, I don’t think so. Am I?” The word kinky is not exactly a clear term to define. It is a word that means different things depending on the context but maybe we can come up with a basic definition and
Everything You Need to Know About Being Kinky Read More »
Well, you did it. You finally took the steps necessary-you found a munch, made friends, joined a dungeon and it happened. You fell in love. Not with a certain someone, but with your community. It happens to a lot of us lifestylers. We immerse ourselves in our dungeon, our dungeon friends, “our world.” Then, we
Have a BDSM Community Spirit You Can Be Proud Of Read More »
I’ve been writing about submission here for a long time. I do my best to give a positive image to submission for those who are new and learning about BDSM and possibly wanting to explore it with their current of future partners. There’s nothing wrong with the way I write and have been prompted on
Submission is Not All Sunshine and Puppies: The Realities of Submission Read More »
When KnyghtMare started developing desires for play that I wasn’t interested in or wasn’t capable of there was a fear in the pit of my stomach. I was afraid that he would leave me for someone else that wanted to do these things. I felt very insecure about my place in his life and was
Every Submissive’s Worst Fear: When Your Dominant Wants to Play with Others Read More »
I’d commented on a thread recently on the topic of what makes a good dominant here on fetlife and I’ve been thinking about it a little more since then as I have had personal experience of both good and bad doms first hand and from stories and the experiences of friends also. Of course not everyone has the
What Makes a Good Dominant? Read More »
For the service submissive, one who gets their pleasure from serving in some capacity it’s nice to have a section of your library reserved for books that can help you with improving and utilizing new methods to make your service more complete. I’d love to hear your suggestions for books to include in a service
The Best Resources for a Submissive’s Service Library Read More »
Every semester I present a BDSM panel at my alma mater for the Human Sexuality class. I’ve been doing it for almost 8 years now and it doesn’t appear to be ending any time soon. The teacher always asks for me to pull some people together and says that he gets a lot of excellent
Talking About BDSM to Vanilla Folk: What to Say and What to Avoid Read More »
For most of us, we’ve always felt that strong pull towards serving others. For others, that urge was quieted beneath propriety, shyness or fear. No matter where you started your submissive journey, the road always ends the same: spending our lives living for another. We live to serve, please, ingratiate and adore our owners. We
Let’s Be Selfish – Recharging The Submissive Battery Read More »
In my first few months of submission, I was asked about my ideal relationship by a Dominant friend of mine. It’s something that I still ask novice submissives when they come to me asking how to find a Dominant that they are compatible with. My answer reflected ignorance and misunderstanding. I believed that my ideal
Who Has the Greatest Responsibility in a D/s Relationship? Read More »
Within weeks of the realization that I wanted to be more than a kinky bed partner, I made the personal definitions of submissive and slave. Since then, over 7 years ago they have changed only slightly. So little that I had decided that based on my definitions I could never and would never be a
Why I Used to Believe I Could Never Be a Slave Read More »
It’s been awhile since I’ve done a refresher on the basics of BDSM. If you are just finding this site, I hope that the wealth of information you see will help you understand yourself and the world in which you are curious. For novices, the word BDSM is a huge scary word. For the experienced,
What Is BDSM All About? Read More »
The excitement of a new D/s relationship is often the first thing that a novice submissive seeks. How else are they going to learn about play, and submission than in a relationship, they might reason. There is a better, more prepared way than jumping into a relationship with someone before you are ready. Taking the
Know Thyself, Don’t Rush Into a Relationship Until You Know These Six Things Read More »
When I started my journey into submission, my perceptions of what a submissive was were very shallow and incomplete. I believed being submissive was a passive personality trait, and it didn’t require much ‘work.’ That passivity encouraged the laziness I had fostered in my previous marriage. Now, I’m far more aware that a submissive is
Learning Good Observation Skills for Better Submissive Awareness Read More »
This guest post is a honeymoon gift from mi_vida. Let’s face it, we all have fears. I’ll be the very first person to admit it! In fact, I’ll do you one better and let you know I, literally, have a crap ton of fears. Well, the official ruling is still in debate within the scientific
Using Your Fear for Better Submissive Growth Read More »
I got engaged to my Master, Grimly, in September 2009. The engagement itself was pretty kinky since this took place at a fetish party that occurred whilst we were staying with like minded friends in Canada. Our engagement party ended up with me being dressed up as a schoolgirl, then as a maid, then in
Keeping D/s Alive Through Engagement and Marriage Read More »
This guest post is a honeymoon gift from Agog. The one thing I have learned since I started nosing around in BDSM is that I don’t know myself nearly as well as I thought I did. I thought it was all about sex, that what I felt was missing was something physical, but as I
What I’ve Learned From My Young Dominant Read More »
This guest post is a honeymoon gift from MGbunny. Time is not always our friend more so if you work outside of your Tops home and have chores to do upon returning home from work, needing to make time to cook dinner as well. It then becomes the question of how to make real food,
36 Ten Minute Meals For When Time Is Short Read More »
