It’s one of those questions people always ask, isn’t it? What got you into BDSM? Or into D/s? Some people think it is to do with their nature from birth, others think it is how they are nurtured and what they experience in life. I think perhaps I am somewhere between the middle in my […]
You Are What You Read: What Got You Into BDSM and D/s? Read More »
This is a guest post by Camryn Darkstone. Virtual worlds have opened a door to BDSM for many people, allowing them to explore their curiosity about it in a fantasy environment. People who would never do so in “real” life can try on handcuffs, be chained and bound, and even submit to a Dominant, all
Deceptive Submissive – The Flip Side of the Predator Dominant Read More »
This is a guest post by SherynB. Please take the time to read the whole thing. It’s an important issue that needs to be addressed. Okay, there’s a 600lb gorilla in the room, and I’m done pretending it’s not there. What we do isn’t pretty or politically correct, and frankly, it’s dangerous if we can’t get (and
For Consent to Count…ASSENT Has to Matter Read More »
Recently, I was contemplating the situation of being single in the Scene because of an email I received from someone concerning interacting with male dominants. Essentially, she responded to the sexual whims of the men she met online from the space of not having any boundaries set. Part of her inquiry to me was why
Single in the Scene Part I: Boundaries Read More »
This is part two of the Anticipatory Service series, if you’d like to read part one, check out Exploring Service Motivations: How a Mocktail Made Me Service-Oriented. Service exists, like most things, on a spectrum. Real Service, Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny hold that reactive service is at one end of the spectrum, and proactive service is
The Challenge of Learning Anticipatory Service: Making Mistakes Read More »
Every few months I take a look at what BDSM related books readers of the Submissive Guide community are buying at Amazon (according to the reports Amazon give us from our affiliate program*). Today I spent some time digging into the purchases of BDSM books and have compiled the following breakdown of best selling books
The Best-selling Items on Amazon According to What Our Readers Are Buying Read More »
Frustration is a normal human response. It can get out of hand and escalate to anger if not handled well. As submissives, we seem to deal with frustration more openly than others in the lifestyle. Let’s start with a definition from Wikipedia about frustration. In psychology, frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. Related to
Overcoming Frustration and Anger as a Submissive Read More »
I was once an online submissive. I know a bit about the language and grammar rules that reside there. They are creative and interesting and serve their purpose online. When you bring them into real life they get more annoying, but in some relationships and dynamics, they still serve their purpose. What language adjustments am
As a parent of 2 children and the active property of my Owner and Husband, I thought perhaps it was time to begin writing some about the trials and tribulations as well as the joys and experiences of the parent slave. I was surprised when I first began writing about this topic that no one
…And Along Came Baby: Parenting and Submission Read More »
As always the views in this article are mine and mine alone unless otherwise stated. I write about what I know and what I know is me and my journey. As the old saying goes it’s not over until the fat lady sings. In this instance the fat lady would be me, a few
It’s Not Over Until The Fat Lady Sings AKA The Ending Of A D/s Relationship Read More »
Hi, my name is Laney and I am a hug slut. I admit it, I love a good hug. As such, imagine how hard it was for me, entering the world of BDSM where a hug in greeting is not always possible. At my dungeon, like all dungeons, we have a set of rules that
To Hug or Not To Hug: Etiquette for Giving Hugs in BDSM Situations Read More »
This is a guest post by Dara. What is Kajira? If you had asked me that 4 months ago I would have had no clue. Slave girl? Now there’s a term I recognized, and if you had made the suggestion that I would one day in the very near future submit myself to becoming someone’s
This has always been a fascinating subject for me. Humiliation, for many, is a large – perhaps even important – part of their D/s dynamic. For these people, there can be a very strong desire to be humiliated. But what is humiliation? We’ve all experienced embarrassment from time to time and have a fairly good
Embarrassment vs. Humiliation – One Opinion Read More »
There are birthdays and anniversaries, holidays and special occasions of all sorts and when a submissive wants to shower their Dominant with gifts it can be a challenge on what to get them. If you are like me, you don’t have your own money and any that you ask for you have to quantify with
My Top 10 Low Cost Gift Ideas for Your Dominant Read More »
Rarely have I heard of an end of a relationship being good, civil yes, but good? Yet I have heard on numerous occasions that relationship ends can be bad and others very bad. What makes some of these horrible is the immaturity of the people involved and what that causes them to do. I have
What To Do In a Bad Break-up Situation Read More »
Online BDSM relationships come in many different flavors. As I’ve explored before, they can be a good novice outlet for learning more about yourself in a safe, relatively anonymous environment. I started out in an online relationship only because the fear of being kinky (and an unwilling husband) kept me locked behind my computer. I
When You’re Left to Beating Yourself Up – Online SM at a Glance Read More »
There are a lot of things on the internet talking about topping from the bottom as being a bad submissive thing. It’s made people terrified that everything they do could be crossing that terrible line. It’s not true. I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll say it again. Bottom topping isn’t as bad as it is hyped. First,
The Real Truth Behind the Fear of Topping from the Bottom Read More »
Submission – it’s hard work. For the 24/7 types it’s an all the time thing. So what happens if you wake up one day and you don’t feel like submitting? You could voice it as a break or get really cranky every time you are asked to perform your duties as a submissive. If you are
5 Ways to Reset Your “Feel Submissive” Button Read More »
Happy Halloween! Soon we’ll see ghosts and goblins begging at our door for sweets and treats, but for now, I’d like to talk about how Halloween is a perfect time of year for exploring kink as well. When was the last time you saw an adult dressed up as a naughty school girl, nurse, biker
Halloween – A Good Time to Let Your Kink Out Read More »
In a previous article, I discussed conflict resolution in a D/s relationship. This post will continue the discussion on returning to your submissive role after the argument. So, you’ve taken my advice from the previous article and stepped outside your roles to resolve a conflict with your partner. Perhaps you had an all-out fight. Relationships
3 Ways to Recover From a Fight and Return to Submission Post-Argument Read More »
