Consent and Negotiation are probably something that we think about but don’t really acknowledge daily. It is important none the less to think about and address in a Dominant/submissive relationship. Why? There are many reasons but the most important one is being safe not only with your partner but more importantly with yourself. Consent is […]
The Importance of Consent in D/s Negotiation Read More »
Whether you are preparing for a scene or well into aftercare it’s always handy to have tools and resources at hand that can help you through all the stages of the play time many of us adore. I’ve gathered a list of the articles and essays on this site that are related to scene care
In Readiness – Scene Care and Aftercare Read More »
I’m going to take a bit of liberty in my assumption here but bear with me for a moment. When you first learn about submission and what it might entail it is likely you are learning about bedroom submission and the pleasures of serving the sexual and sensual needs of your partner. Oftentimes these submissives
Is Your Heart Truly In It? – Fulfilling Submission Needs Desire Read More »
This is a guest post by Shahjahani. She is a personal friend of mine and a fantastic educator. I originally heard of these precepts when speaking of death and dying. I elaborated on them then to help myself understand my place in the death and dying process. I shared my thoughts back then with those that
BDSM and Submission: The Five Precepts of Service Read More »
I’ve never been a submissive but my new boyfriend is a professionally trained Dominant that has been in the lifestyle for many years. I knew this about him before we started dating and told him I could accept it in our relationship. He’s ready to incorporate this but I find it utterly ridiculous to get
Kneeling Feels Absurd, How Do I Get Over It? Read More »
You’ve finished the book! I definitely want to know what you thought about it in the comments. The last chapters were excellent as far as working through surrender, negotiation, discussing abuse, 24/7 living and staying on track. I think these chapters had more bulk to them than previous ones as far as necessary content. Here
Conquer Me Book Club – Week 3 Read More »
Want to know a secret? Submission gets better every day. What makes it so good? I’m not going to tell you any revelations that you probably don’t already know. But here goes. Your personal investment in your future is what makes it better every day. The fact that you follow Submissive Guide to learn and
The Secret to Better Submission Every Day Read More »
Welcome to week 2 of the book club event! This week’s reading was intense and meaty, trust me I know! I had to read it twice in order to get everything out of it that I wanted to. What are you thinking about the book so far? The reading this time had to do a
Conquer Me Book Club – Week 2 Read More »
It may not be clear to others by now but I’m pretty good at asking myself questions and asking questions for reflection with others. It’s how much of the topics I write come to be. I ask myself a question and then try to answer it. It’s an art that I’ve had to learn because
Solo Coaching – Ask Yourself the Right Questions Read More »
When it comes to the idea of topping from the bottom, which I’ve covered several times on the site already, the most common idea that gets bantered about is if asking and requesting something is topping from the bottom. Oftentimes, with novice submissives, it is assumed that showing any sort of desire for something that
Newsflash: Feeding His Dominance Is Not Topping From Below Read More »
Hi, everyone! I hope that you have had time to read the first section of the book club book, “Conquer Me” by Kacie Cunningham. If you want to read the book at a later time, I suggest you skip this book club series – as I can’t promise there won’t be “spoilers.” Then again, this
Conquer Me Book Club – Week 1 Read More »
It is true that we are newlyweds and we do all the newlywed sort of things that you’d expect to see; the hand holding, overt affection in public, lovey eyes and little giggling grins. What you may not see is that we’ve actually been together for 8 years and all of this isn’t new to
How Love Feeds Service in a D/s Relationship Read More »
Last week I told you the exciting news; Submissive Guide will be hosting a month long book club event on one of my favorite and most recommended books about submission, “Conquer Me” by Kacie Cunningham. I hope all of you rushed off and ordered your book because today we start reading! Please read the forward,
Start Reading “Conquer Me” for Submissive Guide’s First Ever Book Club Event! Read More »
I’ve wanted to hold an online book club event on Submissive Guide for quite some time and if you are a member of the Club you may have noticed a book club group there. This is the first book club event that I’m holding through the blog and I hope many of you will follow
Submissive Guide’s First Book Club Event – Conquer Me by Kacie Cunningham Read More »
Last month I told you about a model I’ll be using to help you coach yourself into a better submissive space called the CREATE Model. It has worked for me to begin the internal work on the parts of me I’d like to change. Today we’ll talk about one of the steps of the CREATE Model
Solo Coaching – Re-write Negative Thinking Read More »
Cooking for someone who has a laundry list of items they don’t like feels like an impossible task here in this house. KnyghtMare and I have very differing tastes when it comes to food. Just as I could eat breakfast any time of day, meals are for specific times in KnyghtMare’s mind. We never have
Domestic Challenge of the Day – Cooking for a Picky Dominant Read More »
If you had asked me six months ago if I was into poly relationships I’d probably say no. KnyghtMare and I are happily monogamous and have been so for 8 years. He’s had play partners, but never with any sex so I still considered us monogamous even if the real definition was something along the
Adding The Second Submissive – Branching Out Into Poly Relationships For The First Time Read More »
Have you ever wondered why we use safe words in this lifestyle? I have pondered that a time or two and have always come to a conclusion that it is what makes this lifestyle safe. Without them, we are bordering on harming the other person if we go too far. It is important to develop
Developing Trust in Your Dominant and The Proper Use of a Safe Word Read More »
Consider for a moment that there is a Dominant that you’ve had your eye on for awhile but you think that s/he may not even know you exist. Do you just wait and hope that they will discover you or do you get the nerve to talk to them? Several of the submissives I’ve talked
How to Approach a Dominant You Are Interested In Read More »
We all put a huge amount of thought into our contacts -or we should. But there are often times that things arise and we have no way of predicting them. I recently shared another post about “Outside Forces.” In that post, I talked about steps that may be taken when an outside force storms it
Points to Negotiate in Your D/s Contact That May Not Have Ever Occurred to You Read More »
