Cooking for someone who has a laundry list of items they don’t like feels like an impossible task here in this house. KnyghtMare and I have very differing tastes when it comes to food. Just as I could eat breakfast any time of day, meals are for specific times in KnyghtMare’s mind. We never have […]
Domestic Challenge of the Day – Cooking for a Picky Dominant Read More »
If you had asked me six months ago if I was into poly relationships I’d probably say no. KnyghtMare and I are happily monogamous and have been so for 8 years. He’s had play partners, but never with any sex so I still considered us monogamous even if the real definition was something along the
Adding The Second Submissive – Branching Out Into Poly Relationships For The First Time Read More »
Have you ever wondered why we use safe words in this lifestyle? I have pondered that a time or two and have always come to a conclusion that it is what makes this lifestyle safe. Without them, we are bordering on harming the other person if we go too far. It is important to develop
Developing Trust in Your Dominant and The Proper Use of a Safe Word Read More »
Consider for a moment that there is a Dominant that you’ve had your eye on for awhile but you think that s/he may not even know you exist. Do you just wait and hope that they will discover you or do you get the nerve to talk to them? Several of the submissives I’ve talked
How to Approach a Dominant You Are Interested In Read More »
We all put a huge amount of thought into our contacts -or we should. But there are often times that things arise and we have no way of predicting them. I recently shared another post about “Outside Forces.” In that post, I talked about steps that may be taken when an outside force storms it
Points to Negotiate in Your D/s Contact That May Not Have Ever Occurred to You Read More »
Not all Dominants take well to someone who wishes to serve them intimately and with all things. It may seem counter-productive but oftentimes the Dominant is very self-sufficient and requires little aid in their lives. So what is a submissive wishing to serve to do in a situation like this? What is self-sufficiency? A self-sufficient
How to Serve a Self-Sufficient Dominant Read More »
Getting ready for play is full of excitement and nerves. It can be so difficult to focus on anything but the upcoming time with your Dominant. Setting up a preparation routine will not only make the session more enjoyable for your Dominant but will put you more at ease to enjoy it also. So what
Preparing Your Body for a Scene Read More »
Oftentimes instead of writing out the words we abbreviate or create acronyms or groups of initials to say the same thing. Here is a list of the more common letter groupings when it comes to talking about BDSM and submission. These could also be seen in profiles and dating sites. @: In discussions, addressing a
Acronyms, Abbreviations and Initialisms in BDSM Conversation Read More »
There is a unique and beautiful relationship sometimes between submissives. It is a sisterhood/brotherhood of sorts that is built upon mutual experience, trust, and the need for understanding from someone who has been there before or is there now. In my time in the lifestyle, I have seen this as a wonderful thing and a
How Supportive Relationships Between Submissives Work to Build Friendships Read More »
It is the people who can do nothing who can find nothing to do, and the secret of happiness in this world is not only to be useful, but to be forever elevating one’s usefulness – Sandra Orne Jewett Reading what I have to say day in and day out can lead you to a
Active Submission Means Always Improving Yourself Read More »
Being introduced to a ball gag was a scary thing for me. I had always envisioned it as limiting my breathing and never thought to try it out before it showed up in a scene. The first ball gag I owned was small, spongy ball on a leather strap. It was small and I could open
Perspectives: Gags Read More »
This is another entry into the self-mentoring series here on Submissive Guide. If your recall back in the first post about solo coaching I asked you and tasked you to start holding private coaching sessions with yourself. Hopefully, you have kept up with these and have earmarked a few challenges in your life that might need some
Solo Coaching – The CREATE Model Read More »
Fictional BDSM stories or erotica are often not only enjoyable but also may be a good way to learn what might be enjoyable to the reader in real life. Those who are new to BDSM often do not know what activities and mindsets they might enjoy and while non-fiction articles, blogs, and communities are a
Fictional Stories of Male Submission Read More »
Submission definitely isn’t easy. No matter what direction your journey takes you will have moments where struggle and strife challenge you to continue your submission. I’m a bit hesitant to say that it’s common to struggle as a submissive, but I do know that a lot of what I consider struggle is actually self-created. That’s
The Internal and External Struggles of a Submissive Read More »
Not too long ago, my pup and I were faced with something that rears its ugly head to everyone-lifestyle or not. The dreaded “outside force.” What is this intruder you may ask? Well, it is anything outside of the relationship that causes undue tension within a pairing; it is never welcome and always has to be handled
How To Overcome The Outside Forces That Stress Us Read More »
Self-worth is inherent in all of us. We gather our own opinions about ourselves and based on what we think other people think of us. I had a tendency to rate myself, at say five or six on a scale from one to ten, in terms of how worthy I was. Worthy of happiness, success, joy,
Submissive Self-Discovery Leads to Self-Worth Read More »
My family found out that I’m into BDSM/submissive and they are freaking out, what do I do? Coming out to your family, whether it be homosexuality or being kinky is a nerve-wrecking situation for anyone. Not being able to control when and where you family finds out this information would feel like a disaster but
How You Can Respond When Your Family Disapproves of Your Chosen Lifestyle/Sexuality Read More »
Asking for release from a relationship is never an easy thing to do regardless of the reasons and how it is done. It is not something one does lightly and shouldn’t be something someone does without thought and consideration to all the factors involved. It is something that I have recently had to do –
Recovering From the End of a D/s Relationship Read More »
It can be quite obvious what the goal of orgasm on command training is, but there are so many things you can do with that goal to make it interesting and exciting for everyone involved. I’m going to talk about a few things that I learned about while doing the research for my own training,
Orgasm on Command Training – Ultimate Goals and Variations Read More »
Once you’ve decided to enter an orgasm on command training, it can help to learn what the submissive goes through to wire their brain so that they can hold back their orgasm to when you wish them to have it. It’s not easy. If you want to read the introductory article, check out Initial Steps Into
Orgasm on Command Training – The Process for the Submissive Read More »
