When I was twenty, I met my first dominant in person. I was extremely excited and nervous about this because for months before meeting in person, we had talked a great deal through emails, online chatting services, and phone calls. The weekend he and I had planned to meet was over Memorial Day weekend. This […]
Your Right to Choose-Feminism and the Lifestyle Read More »
The many lessons in life can be picked up in some of the most unusual places. The other day I was watching my cats and had a sudden realization that they way they live could have lessons for me and my submission if I wanted to see them. The truth is that you can pick
Everything I Know About Submission I Learned from My Cat Read More »
Imagine this; you are playing and happily enjoying what is going on between the two of you. As the scene continues you start to feel pushed to your limit, but you continue to play. Then, almost without warning, you hit a wall and (hopefully) safeword. You’ve just hit a limit. It could be a temporary
What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene Read More »
Like the vanilla world we live in, the kinky world is full of labels. And if you want to stir up a heated discussion, bring up “labels.” It is pretty hard to have a room full of people, talking about labels without someone getting upset. And rightfully so. A lot of people feel that labels
Labels – Yet Another “L” Word Read More »
So far, my time in the lifestyle has been one that involved several mentorships. A few times I was the one learning and a few times I was the one passing on the knowledge. But, in all of those times, I also took away far more than I gave. I think that happens – when
Mentorships – What to Do Before the Process Begins Read More »
Jealousy. At one time or another we all have felt it. Handling jealousy when it comes to our partners is a trait we all should have, but many don’t. We get spiteful, possessive and plain horrible when we feel jealousy rear it’s green pointy head. Some people are more prone to feelings of jealousy than
Tearing Down the Green-Eyed Monster – Handling Jealousy Read More »
On the heels of “50 Shades of Grey” fame, there are a lot of new and curious people exploring BDSM than there has been in a long time. For the many people who encounter this site through a search, they may have their fantasies dashed by reading about the internal work and powerful submissives that
Separating Fantasy from Reality – Using Erotic Novels to Find Truth Read More »
Sometimes it is difficult to find balance when there is so much going on in your life. It is important, however, to find some compromise within yourself because otherwise, you may become stressed out. No one wants to be stressed out if they can help it. I know I don’t like that feeling. Balance can
Struggling to Find Balance in a Stressful Life Read More »
BDSM and Sex Sex and BDSM They do not have to go together, did you know that? While much of what we do in the bedroom can be considered sexual or sensual in nature it does not mean that you have to engage in sexual contact during play. Oftentimes during negotiation people will forget the
Why BDSM and Sex are Not Always Connected Read More »
“ If you’re angry, take deep breaths. If you’re really angry, swear.” – Mark Twain My friend says on her blog, “Anger and I are old friends.” This is why I like her blog so much because she is very realistic. You’ll probably see a lot of submissives say that they never get angry at their
Dealing With Anger As a Submissive Read More »
As with anything on Submissive Guide I do my best to provide you with accurate opinions and general viewpoints on topics pertaining to BDSM and submission. Readers such as you, tell me in a variety of ways what I should be focusing on from time to time by the amount of traffic or conversation a
The Top 7 Posts of 2012 on Submissive Guide Read More »
Today is day 21 of the Submissive Advent Calendar. If you missed yesterday’s post you can go back to that now, or rewind all the way to the beginning. You can also read the introduction post. “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” -Mahatma Gandhi If you are lost as
Submissive Advent – Day 21: Volunteerism is Next to Submission Read More »
Today is the final day of the Submissive Advent Calendar. If you missed yesterday’s post you can go back to that now, or rewind all the way to the beginning. You can also read the introduction post. “There are a hundred ways to kneel and kiss the ground.” – Rumi This quote has been used in many ways
Submissive Advent – Day 24: Spirit of Submission Read More »
Today is day 23 of the Submissive Advent Calendar. If you missed yesterday’s post you can go back to that now, or rewind all the way to the beginning. You can also read the introduction post. One of my all time favorite activities during the holiday season is to look at Christmas lights. As a child, we used to be
Submissive Advent – Day 23: Twinkling Stars and Lights Read More »
Today is day 22 of the Submissive Advent Calendar. If you missed yesterday’s post you can go back to that now, or rewind all the way to the beginning. You can also read the introduction post. From Here We Come a-Wassailing Love and joy come to you, And to you your wassail too; And God bless you and
Submissive Advent – Day 22: Here We Come a Caroling Read More »
Today is day 20 of the Submissive Advent Calendar. If you missed yesterday’s post you can go back to that now, or rewind all the way to the beginning. You can also read the introduction post. Let’s enjoy the holidays today! Get all your supplies to make a batch of your favorite Christmas cookies. It’s not the time
Submissive Advent – Day 20: Christmas Cookies Read More »
Today is day 19 of the Submissive Advent Calendar. If you missed yesterday’s post you can go back to that now, or rewind all the way to the beginning. You can also read the introduction post. Most of us enjoy the splendor and glory of candles. Candles are visible reminders of our possible triumph over darkness. Have you
Submissive Advent – Day 19: Light a Candle Read More »
Today is day 18 of the Submissive Advent Calendar. If you missed yesterday’s post you can go back to that now, or rewind all the way to the beginning. You can also read the introduction post. The inspiration for today comes from one of my favorite stories, The Velveteen Rabbit. It has a wonderful ending that we all
Submissive Advent – Day 18: Becoming Real Read More »
Today is day 17 of the Submissive Advent Calendar. If you missed yesterday’s post you can go back to that now, or rewind all the way to the beginning. You can also read the introduction post. Showing gratitude is a wonderful way to express to someone that you care for them, who they are and what they have
Submissive Advent – Day 17: A Moment of Gratitude Read More »
Today is day 16 of the Submissive Advent Calendar. If you missed yesterday’s post you can go back to that now, or rewind all the way to the beginning. You can also read the introduction post. This has been all over the internet but it’s a great find. Read it and connect to your own submission today. A
Submissive Advent – Day 16: Prayer Read More »
