This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. You have gorged. Years have passed from that first moment of recognition of self. Over those years you have explored different people and situations. Peeked inside of places you may have decided just […]
Beyond the Kink Buffet: When You’re Ready for a Lifetime Partner Read More »
It’s very easy to get overwhelmed and have far too much to do with what feels like no time to do it. I’ve also been caught up with waiting until the last moment to do something when I knew about it for a lot longer. That pressure is not healthy! But there are steps we
Solo-Coaching: Prioritize Your Submissive Goals With a 4-Box Matrix System Read More »
Uniqueness is underrated. Everyone wants to be like everyone else, are comparing themselves to others in order to fit in, but it’s the fun little unique aspects of a relationship that make it special. Kindling those unique things is especially important for me in a mono-poly and likely most other relationships. Every relationship is unique
Writing a letter to your future self is a common journaling practice to help you see how happy you are in the present moment, but the writing a letter to your past self is equally helpful. While you can’t save this for you to read later, the exercise is still beneficial, especially if you’re feeling
Why Writing a Letter To Your Past Self Will Help You When Your Struggling in Submission Read More »
I think we’ve all done it. We’ve set a goal for ourselves or we have a big project that we want to accomplish and then, within a few weeks or months we feel overwhelmed with the whole thing and want to give up. So, we set that goal again later that year because we’d really
Don’t Let Your Big Goals Intimidate You: Break Them Into Smaller Steps Read More »
It’s time for a celebration on the site! This year is Submissive Guide’s tenth anniversary! It’s going to be another great year here on the site and I’m ready to celebrate this milestone with you. Today we’re looking back at the top articles on the site but keep an eye on the site for further
Celebrate 10 YEARS of Submissive Guide With The Top 20 Articles of All Time Read More »
The last time we were doing some solo-coaching here on Submissive Guide we had just gotten started trying to learn what coaching is and how to hold meetings with yourself, journal your thoughts and understand your current goals. I even bundled it up into an ebook if you want the whole first series. Solo Coaching
Are You Ready for More Solo-Coaching? Check Out Where Your Journey Will Progress Next! Read More »
I was raised to say “please,” “thank you,” and apologize if I did something wrong. This politeness is ingrained in us as children. Being polite serves as a way to express empathy and respect for others. However, the phrase “I’m sorry,” has become a reflex rather than a meaningful expression. Many of us use it
Breaking the Apology Habit: Alternatives to Overusing ‘I’m Sorry’ Read More »
Safety comes in many forms and at any level of risk awareness. One of the very first things you learn when you encounter BDSM is the use of safewords. Even this site has numerous articles covering the basics of safewords. But now, I feel it’s time to gather everything together and really dig deep into
What You Don’t Know About Using Safewords Could Harm You – Get The Facts Read More »
When I began Submissive Guide years ago, I wanted it to be a safe haven for information and experience exchange for submissives. I didn’t realize that it would be a resource for Dominants as well. As time went on, I noticed that I was getting questions from Dominants in my email and praise from them
I’m a New Dominant, How Can Submissive Guide Help Me Understand My Submissive? Read More »
Death. It is going to happen to all of us. It’s a natural part of life. But we avoid talking about it more than anything else. Dealing with a death of a loved one would go a lot smoother if we knew what their final wishes were, right? Do you know what your partner would
Final Preparations: Do You Know Your Dominant’s Final Wishes? Read More »
One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you
How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics Read More »
I was failing as a submissive. Something in me had broken and that magical, powerful feeling that submission was once giving me was gone. I didn’t want to believe that I wasn’t submissive anymore but every single clue was that something was wrong with my emotional wellbeing, and my happiness was clouded by the depression
Feeling Like a Failure – The Crash and Burn of a Slave: A Personal Story Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Sometimes it feels like we have an overwhelming need for labels. Everything should nicely fit as if the world or the universe is a gigantic jigsaw puzzle and everything has its place
The False Comfort of Labels on Our Personal Identity in Kink Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Dear Mistress, . . . One in particular that often bothers me, the impact of the Internet on the lifestyle or the type of people who suddenly “found themselves ” at the ripe
Born Again into Kink: Discovering Kink at Middle Age Read More »
This is a guest post by Bibi for the Day in the Life Series. Interested in sharing what a day in your life looks like? Email it to me! My name is Bibi. I am a Full-time Slave to Master Jimmy, and this is a day in my life. I am not a youngster and am
A Day in the Life of a Submissive – Bibi Read More »
Sometimes, even though you try your hardest, that spark of submission fades. Whether that be from stress, relationship issues, a death in the family or some other upheaval there may come a time when you feel yourself fighting submission, arguing with every request and pushing against your Dominant at every turn. You may even just
Feeling Submissive Again After a Break – How I Am Reclaiming Myself Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. A sexual submissive is a person who manifests submissive traits only in direct connection with sexual arousal and release. In all other aspects of their life this person will probably comport themselves in
The Sexual Submissive Read More »
There are many relationships both inside and outside of the Lifestyle that exist under undue strain and eventually crumble under the weight of the behaviors that are a result of self-sabotage, and all too often these habitual patterns aren’t recognized though they are repeated with great frequency. A cycle of strife is perpetuated year in
Uprooting Self-Sabotaging Behaviors: Learning How to Make Changes that Stick Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Collaring is the term commonly used by those in the D/s community to describe the commencement of a relationship between a Dominant and a submissive. It carries the same type of weight that
The Collar of Consideration Read More »
