Full Question: During my research on Submissive Guide, I’ve learned about personal protocol. I don’t have a dom currently and am looking to understand more about punishments and rewards for personal protocol. What kinds of punishments and rewards do you implement into your personal protocol, or would you recommend for a sub without a dom?
Answer:
One of the questions we get asked often is about personal protocol—what it is, how to approach it, and how to keep it meaningful when you’re unpartnered.
Let’s start with a quick definition:
Submissive protocol is a structured set of rules, rituals, or behaviors designed to align with your values as a submissive. It’s a way to bring intention and purpose to your daily life, helping you feel connected to your role even without a Dominant.
If you’re exploring personal protocol solo, you might wonder: “How do I implement rewards and punishments for myself?” Here’s our advice:
Rewards:
Progress and consistency deserve to be celebrated! Rewards can be as simple or elaborate as you’d like. Here are a few ideas:
- Treat yourself to something small, like your favorite coffee or dessert.
- Create a “milestone journal” to write down successes and reflect on how far you’ve come.
- Dedicate time for a special self-care ritual—think bubble baths, a cozy reading session, or extra time for a hobby.
The key is to choose rewards that genuinely make you feel proud and cared for.
Punishments:
This might surprise some of you, but we don’t recommend punishment in personal protocol. Why? Punishments often foster negative self-talk and guilt, which can derail your progress. Instead of focusing on what went wrong, try this approach:
- Recognize the slip-up.
- Reflect on what caused it. Were your expectations too high? Did something unexpected get in the way?
- Adjust your protocol as needed and use the moment as a chance to learn.
Mistakes aren’t failures—they’re opportunities to grow and refine what works best for you.
A learning mindset will always take you further than self-punishment.