Full Question: What do you do if your sex drive is much higher than your Dom’s, and you aren’t interested in poly?
Answer:
People’s sex drives tend to wax and wane. Many factors can affect sex drive, from medical conditions and medicines to stress, self-esteem, and depression. Then, issues within the relationship can cause the sex drive to change. Communication challenges, compatibility, and relationship satisfaction are just a few. Other societal factors include gender expectations, community ideas of relationships, and taboo sexual practices.
Mismatched sex drives are common but can cause stress in relationships if the differences are not managed. So how do you manage them?
- Be comfortable talking about sex. Respectfully communicating about each other’s feelings, insecurities, and desires will help both of you understand each other and navigate the struggle together.
- Make compromises. A person with low libido can meet their partner halfway by still engaging in sex play to build intimacy. Aided masturbation, oral and manual sex, and using sex toys are great ways to build intimacy that can still create a sexy space without the pressures of both parties being ready to go.
- Redefine what sex is. As a society, sex tends to have a very limited definition. The beauty of adventurousness is that you can redefine what activities are still sex without having intercourse.
- Set the mood. Oftentimes, a low sex drive is because there’s no sexy mood-building. When sexual energy is lacking in the relationship, sex drive follows. Ideas include flirting, doing special things for the other, lighting candles, playing music, and engaging in affectionate touch.
If you need more help, seeking a couples therapist can help pinpoint and heal issues that could make sex stressful. Since many factors may cause low libido, talking with a trusted health practitioner may help a person better understand their sexual health and what they can do to improve it.
