Leatherstrap asks me:
I played with a lady tonite who set out very clearly that she wanted to play rough – in fact she wanted to be brought to tears – She had a safe word which she didnt call but as the session went on it became apparent that she wasnt well – I stopped of course but she had had quite some paddling by then – Thing is she then felt nauseous and dizzy and threw up – took her a while to come right when she promptly felt embarrassed and a failure – I reassured her that she was certainly not a failure but even tho she didnt call her safe word I worry that I went too far – Question is can you explain why she might throw up like that and what was going on for her – she is fine the next day and wanting to do it again –
Leatherstrap,
Thank you for the question. Kudos to you! You did the right thing by stopping the play. Even if she didn’t safeword, your awareness of what was happening was paramount. Technically her body was giving off signs of her safeword even if she emotionally or mentally did not want to stop.
It sounds like your lady friend may have had an episode of low blood sugar. You can read about nondiabetic hypoglycemia at WebMD. It can happen when you haven’t had enough to eat or drink before a session. Encourage her to eat right and get enough to drink at least 30 minutes before playing. You can keep sports drinks on hand during play to make sure the bottom (not that bottom) is hydrated and well. No one should continue playing when suddenly feeling ill, it is a sign of distress.
To aid someone suffering from a bout of low blood sugar makes sure you keep simple sugars on hand, orange juice is a good suggestion. If not treated, the person could go into shock or become unconscious. Not exactly a good choice of play options, don’t you agree?
It’s hard to know if you had gone too far or not since her physical illness kept you from finding that line. Thankfully you stopped play before it became dangerous or life-threatening for her.