What does a bottom need to know about BDSM play?

Full Question: What does the bottom/sub need to learn about bondage?

Answer: 

I will expand on this question and give you a few tips on what a bottom needs to know about any form of BDSM play, including bondage.

It’s often hinted that the submissive doesn’t need to learn how to throw a flogger or tie someone with rope. They are the receiver, so they don’t need to know that stuff, right? 

Wrong.

Click here for more!

A submissive should learn about the play activities they like just as much as the Dominant should. You may not need to know the mechanics of using a certain toy, but you definitely should know all the risks of the activity, what safety precautions to take, and how to care for yourself afterward. Become familiar with the materials used and how they are cleaned. If you are new to playing with someone, ask them how often they clean their toys and when they last did so. Refuse to play with toys that can not be cleaned well unless they are bonded to you and only used on you.

Many self-stupidity moments come from allowing a Dominant or Top to play with you when you don’t know anything about the play activity yourself. For example, if wax play is involved, do you know what wax types are safe and which ones could send you to the ER with severe burns? Do you know what areas of your body can handle light, moderate or severe impact? 

For bondage, learn the ties and knots that will be used. Be proficient at them so that as you are tied up, you can watch for incorrect usage and things that may endanger you. Improper knots can collapse and cause restriction or be impossible to untie. Wraps lying across certain areas of the body can lead to more injury. Know where your nerve channels are to monitor where ropes lay because nerve damage can be permanent. Some types of rope cause more rope burn or are too slippery for suspension use. This information is essential if you get into suspension, but floor work also has risks.  

Know your Top. How experienced are they in the activity you wish to explore together? With bondage, where are their emergency shears or cutting hooks? Every body type is different. Do they have experience playing with someone that is of similar shape to you?

Go to classes and workshops on the play activities, ask questions from experienced players, read books and gather all the information you need before you try the activity.

Join the Conversation!

Have something to add? Curious about more? Continue the discussion in our FetLife Group or hop into the chat on our Discord Server.

Copyright Submissive Guide – Some Rights Reserved: You are permitted to share the information within Fair Use, which my copyright policy declares to be no more than 10% or 400 words, whichever is smallest; to copy, distribute, and display under certain conditions.

Scroll to Top
Skip to content