Virginity. It’s valued and prized and then remembered. There are even people who believe in a second virginity. Of course, there are also BDSM virgins when people just get started. But, the question I got posed to me the other day was if you are a sexual virgin can you even know that you are interested in BDSM?
Understandably, some people equate BDSM and sex and that they are one in the same thing (I’m not one of those people). It is possible to not know if you are into BDSM until you’ve experienced sex and then noticed or craved something different or want more variety.
I’m here to say that you can be interested in BDSM even if you’ve never done it yet. That’s because I believe that just like your sexual preference to be with guys or girls is born not bred, your sexual predilection to BDSM activities is part of who you are. Sure, I realize that the definition of sexual orientation says nothing about the type of sex you lean towards but only to the gender you prefer I think that BDSM is still part of your makeup (or not).
If you are a virgin, but you read fantasies and the ones that are dark and violent or have a thread of Dominance and submission in them you could very well be wired for a BDSM sort of sexual life. Whether you embrace that and explore it or not is another question. Even some gay people try to ignore their desires and live by society standards, unhappily might I add. BDSM is very much mental and activities don’t even have to involve sex. While it’s great to have sex during or after a scene it’s not a requirement. Heck, you can remain a virgin and still dabble into much of what BDSM has to offer!
