Before I moved to Germany, Daddy and I had a lot of serious discussions. We talked about culture shock and homesickness, things I would have to deal with after moving here, all that kind of stuff. There’s one conversation in particular I remember. I asked Him if I would have to give up all my US traditions when I moved. I don’t know why, but this was such a huge fear of mine. That once I was on German soil, no more Thanksgiving, no more binge watching A Christmas Story on Christmas, no more Charlie Brown at Halloween. I can’t tell you how much this thought scared me, the idea of losing a part of who I am.
Daddy reassured me that just because I was moving halfway around the world didn’t mean I had to give these things up. He knows how important the traditions I grew up with are to me. Not only are they important to who I am, they are a part of who I am, just as much as my brown eyes are and there’s nothing that can be done to change those things about me.
A lot of times when s-types, and I think this is especially true when completely new to the lifestyle and also in new relationships, it can be easy to lose yourself in the relationship and your submission. This happens in all relationships, not just power exchange relationships. I think it may be more prone to happen in power exchange relationships because feelings and emotions tend to be more intense. I’ve been there. More than once. Sometimes I get so consumed with my submission and focusing on Daddy that I feel like I’m losing who I am as an individual. Yes, being a slave and my submission is a part of who I am, but that’s not the only part of me.
I remember a conversation I had with my Hooker awhile ago. I told her that I felt like I wasn’t focusing enough on Daddy and wanted her to change my Facebook password for me so I couldn’t get into my account. That Facebook was too much of a distraction to my submission. There were a few moments before she replied to my request and I will never forget what she said to me. She told me that she knows how much I love Him and there’s nothing wrong with that or wanting to be the best slave I could be, but I need to make sure to not have my head so far up His ass that I lose who I am. See, this is why I love my Hooker. She knows just what to say to help me pull my head out of my ass.
Yes, it is important to be devoted to your partner. I’m not saying that, but what I am saying is that it’s just as important to have your own life outside of your partner. You need to make sure to have time to do your own thing, the things that you enjoy doing, things that you did before you met your partner. An example, as much as I do enjoy gaming with Daddy, I love reading a whole lot more. I’ve always been an avid reader. On average, I usually read two to three books a month, if not more. Daddy understands this. He knew when we met that I am a huge bibliophile and that I need time to read. Just like I understand that He needs time to game, which is one of His hobbies. I do enjoy gaming, but not as much as He does and that’s okay. Having our individual hobbies doesn’t hurt our relationship.
It’s awesome to be in a relationship. I will never deny that. It’s awesome that I have someone whom I love deeply and dearly and can completely submit to. I love being able to submit as deeply and wholly as I do. Being a slave is a huge part of who I am, but it’s not all of me. It’s important for me to be my own person as well. That is something that every s-type needs to remember, that it’s important to be your own person as well.