Full Question: Do you think that pre-play negotiation is important when you’ve been together for months?
Answer:
Yes and no.
We’ve discussed pre-scene negotiation here before, but a brief refresher is always nice. Pre-scene negotiation is the conversation between play partners to discuss what you agree to do during play, what safety and safewords you will employ, and any risks you want to mitigate.
Once you get to know someone, you can forego some negotiation for spontaneity unless you have something you’d like to experience. If you’re going to play in the same way or with the same activities, then negotiation may go something like this:
“Wanna get tied up?”
“Hell yes, let’s go!”
If you’re exploring a new activity or a new tool, it might be nice to have a bit of a longer discussion just to go over all you can about the new activity so that everyone can consent to it and be aware of the risk.
Even if you’ve been together for years, sometimes, sitting down beforehand and talking about what mood you’re in, what you might want to enjoy, or if you have any goals for play can be helpful, so don’t skip a pre-scene check-in all the time!