Full Question: I’m very new to The Lifestyle and have absolutely no idea where to start. I’ve done tons and tons of research but don’t know how to go from passively researching to actively participating. Do you have any advice on where to start?
Answer:
Starting to explore BDSM actively is never easy and can be pretty scary. But starting your participation by making friends before looking for a partner not only helps you gain confidence for dating but also provides a supportive group of people you can look to for advice and encouragement.
So, start by locating your local or regional BDSM community. Platforms like FetLife can connect you with others in BDSM. Other places to look are Facebook and Reddit. These communities often have forums, groups, and event listings. If you can’t find one local, consider how far you can drive and look further away. COVID turned many groups into ghosts, so you may need to look to larger cities and regions to find an active group.
Then, find a munch to attend. Munches are casual, non-play meetups in public places where you can meet others in the Lifestyle. They are a great way to start networking in a safe environment. FetLife is also a great place to find munch events.
Local BDSM communities also sometimes host workshops, demos, and classes you can attend. These can provide practical knowledge and opportunities to observe and learn.
Larger BDSM conventions can be overwhelming, but they are also great places to attend educational sessions and meet a wide variety of people. These are commonly hosted in large cities at host hotel convention spaces.
And finally, build those relationships with experienced practitioners. Attending munches and other communities is great, but if you aren’t going to make friends and foster healthy relationships with them, you aren’t making the most of finally getting active in BDSM. Experienced members can provide the guidance you need and answer your questions. (And you just might find a partner!)
Any way you go about it, finding and participating in the BDSM community is the first step you can take to engage in your desired kinks and relationship dynamics.