Talking dirty is an art that not many are born with, most of us have to learn it if we want to be good at it. I’ve given a bit of a primer on it before if you want to check that out, and I know that many of you are shy and just thinking of talking naughty gets your panties in a bunch (and not in a good way). There are much smaller things you can do before you start talking dirty with your partner to help you feel comfortable with the use of certain words and describing your desires during sex.
One of the best books I came across and reviewed here about being shy and trying to be an exhibitionist (at least in the bedroom) is Exhibitionism for the Shy by Carol Queen. There are 3 really solid chapters on naughty talk that, while I do pretty good with dirty talk, are a fantastic help with even more ways to add to my repertoire. I especially like muting porn and using your own voices for the scene. If you still aren’t sure if you want the book, you can read the review I’ve given of it right here on the site.
I went to a BDSM convention recently and sat in on Dan and Dawn Williams presentation on Naughty Talk. They are a great team of presenters and I enjoyed the discussion immensely. Dan put together a nice list of types of dirty talk that I thought I’d share with you as best I can remember.
Not everyone is comfortable with naughty talk in all 5 categories, but I bet you can find at least one where you can sink your teeth into and really get your motor going – or at least your partners senses.
Types of Naughty Talk
1. Now
In this first group, you will be using dirty talk to share what is going on now. You’ll be a sexy narrator, of your sexual escapades. This happens to be one of the easiest categories to get started in because it doesn’t need a lot of imagination. You do need to be comfortable with terms used to describe sex and its many variations. Talking dirty using this type may look something like this:
“I’m gently caressing your neck and shoulders. I love the way your skin feels under my fingertips. Now I’m kissing you down to your chest and stomach. Mmm, I can taste your salty skin. Ah yes, I can feel your pulsing hard cock straining to be let free from your pants. I’ll unzip your jeans and run my mouth up and down on your cock. Mmph, you are so hard. Do you like the way my tongue swirls over your dick?”
2. Going to Do
The next type of naughty talk is narrating what you are going to do. This is especially exciting when whispered into your lover’s ear when all they can do is think about what you just said.
“When we get home I’m going to rip that dress off, throw you on the bed and take you hard and fast. And you are going to like it, right slut?”
3. Have Done
I love this category the most. I like talking about what was just done an hour ago, a day ago, last week, last month, the best scene, the hottest sex. I’ll relive those hot times with my lover so that I can try to stir up their desire for even more.
“Do you remember that time when you came home from work and found me kneeling on the floor in your favorite bra and panties? I looked up to you lustfully and begged to suck your cock right there in the entryway. You came so hard that I couldn’t swallow it all fast enough and it covered my lips and chin. It was such a hot way to greet you at the end of a long work day. Let’s do that again soon.”
4. Fantasy
Using the fantasy type of dirty talk is great if you can put together a story for your lover to enjoy. It’s not just coming out with your fantasy for being abducted by horny aliens (TMI, you think?) but painting in the details so that even if the fantasy isn’t theirs, they can see how it would play out and it will get them excited to live that fantasy with you.
“I had this dream the other night that I’ve just got to share! You were in the kitchen making dinner in just your apron and heels and every time you reached for something your tight round ass just begged for my touch. When you caught me watching you, you turned around and flashed me your perky tits, tweaking your nipples and then beckoned me with a finger to come into the kitchen. I bent you over the counter and spanked your ass until you begged for me to fuck you. You were so wet!”
5. Role Play
The last type of naughty talk that Dan and Dawn covered was role play. This one, in my opinion, is a bit more involving because it happens during play or sex where you both adopt roles and play those roles to amplify your sex or playtime.
“You have been a naughty girl, haven’t you, little girl. You know the dress code for this school. Skirts need to touch your knees and you are not allowed to wear see-through shirts. What do you have to say for yourself?”
“I’m sorry Mr. Blank. I didn’t mean to break the rules. (bats lashes and licks lips slowly) But, don’t you think I look pretty?”
“Uh, yeah uh- well that’s not the point! You know this means you get the paddle, girl. (girl leans forward and reveals more cleavage) Erm, go shut the door.”
“But Mr. Blank, isn’t there a rule that teachers can’t be alone with students unless the door is open?”
“We’ll see just how much of a student you are after I’m done with you.”
“Oh, Mr. Blank!” (coy blush)
You can use any variation of the types listed here to make your dirty talk exciting for you and your partner. This is also not just a Dominant thing. Many Dominants like to hear their submissive talk dirty and encourage it during play. I encourage you to all give it a try the next time you see your partner and find out how it works for you! Don’t be shy, there are sexy times to be had!