This is the last in my series about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. Up to this point, I have talked about how important communication, honesty, and trust is to a relationship. For this last article, I will be talking about the importance of transparency in relationships.
I saved this one for last because well, one can not have transparency in their relationship without there being open communication, honesty, and a level of trust built up. If you remove any one of those building blocks, there’s no way there’s transparency in your relationship. Not only that, but transparency is something that has to be constantly worked at. It’s not one of those things where you can say “I’ve reached transparency in my relationship” and be done with it. It’s something that one has to constantly work and strive for.
It’s taken a lot of time for Daddy and me to get where we have gotten in our relationship. It’s not only taken a lot of time, but a lot of energy, patience, and heartache as well. All of the obstacles that Daddy and I have had to overcome to have a relationship has made our relationship stronger. Because of everything He and I have had to deal with, it has helped us to get to the point where we have complete and total transparency in our relationship. It wasn’t always there. Well, it sort of was and sort of wasn’t. I know that makes absolutely no sense at the moment, but hopefully, I can clear up any confusion I’m causing.
I know in my first article about communication, I said that when Daddy and I first met, I was telling Him everything, and that was true to an extent. Yes, when He and I first started chatting I got this vibe from Him that He wasn’t like all the other jackasses that I had run into in the past and that yes, I could actually trust Him. Even though I hardly knew Daddy all that well at the time, I knew. Gut instinct or whatever you want to call it. I did tell Him a lot. I opened myself up to Daddy and told Him all my dark secrets, at least the dark secrets I was willing to share at that point in time. So, considering how things were, I felt like I was being transparent.
Move ahead a few months, Daddy and I are still talking, things have become more serious and have gotten much more intense than before. I slowly and surely started opening up more. Things that I had been scared to tell Him in the very beginning didn’t seem so scary to tell Him about. After several months of talking, I felt the need to make myself even more transparent to Daddy. It scared me to feel this way. The last time I had really opened myself up to someone, it seriously came back to bite me in the ass, big time. Even though I knew Daddy wasn’t like everyone else, I still had this reservation. But, the sooner I stopped fighting myself and just let things be, the easier it was for me to open up to Daddy even more and take our relationship to a whole new level I didn’t even know could exist
Fast forward quite a bit to now. The relationship that Daddy and I have now, is at a whole new level, again, one I never thought could be reached. I can honestly say that I am the most transparent with Daddy now than I ever have been with another human being in my entire life. All those dark secrets, they’re not so many secrets anymore. Daddy has all my passwords for all my accounts and vise verse. I still share every single little thought with Him and He shares everything with me and that’s how we are. We both know that the moment there’s no longer 100% transparency in our relationship, then something is seriously wrong.
I like using the wall metaphor when trying to explain to people the level of transparency Daddy and I have. Because of all the bullshit and assholes that I had previously met and had been used and taken advantage of, I felt like I had built up this brick wall around myself to keep all the other assholes and their bullshit as far away as possible. I was safer that way. I really wasn’t up for having my heart ripped out and stomped all over yet again. After about the third or fifth time of having that happen, you start to wise up. But with Daddy, I slowly found myself wanting to tear down that wall, brick by brick. There were even times I felt the need to show my ass and would start to put that wall back up, but very quickly those rebuilt bricks came right down again. It’s taken a lot of time for me to completely tear down the wall that I was using to keep Daddy out. Not only did it take a lot of time, but also a lot of tears and pain that were necessary for me to tear down the wall. I know that the relationship Daddy and I have sustained wouldn’t have lasted if I kept up the wall.
Transparency is a huge factor in an M/s or D/s relationship. To me, it’s the biggest factor in whether a relationship is going to be successful or not because if you can’t allow your partner to see the real you, then there’s no room for the true mental and emotional bond to form. These things don’t happen overnight. It has taken me YEARS to get where I am in my relationship and all the time and energy has been worth it. I do promise you, that the time and energy you put forth into building your successful relationship will be worth it as well!