Full Question: I did something, and my Master was angry. Yes, I have apologized to Him, and He has already punished me for it, but I still feel that He is upset with me. He avoids having full conversations with me, and whenever I ask Him if He is still mad, He says He is not mad anymore. I can conspicuously see that He is. I really want to do anything for Him to stop Him from being mad at me, but I don’t know what to do. Please help.
Answer:
The simple truth is that you can not control your partner’s emotions. Have you ever felt mad, sad, or frustrated, and no matter what anyone tried to cheer you up, it didn’t work? Each person is in control of managing their emotions; some people can process them quickly, while others take longer. If he tells you he’s not angry anymore, believe him. He may have moved on to other feelings that you perceive as anger.
You may not be able to control his emotions, but you can control how you react to his current mood. Stop asking him if he’s still angry, and give him space. Understand that the current emotions he’s processing are not directed at you. He’s already told you he’s not angry anymore.
Whatever you did to cause his anger, he has to process and balance in his mind. It’s completely reasonable that he could still be dealing with the repercussions of what you did. What other emotions do you think he may be feeling? Frustration? Disappointment? Distant? Disrespected? Annoyed? What’s important to recognize is that your partner may still have unresolved emotions, and you need to give them the validation that it’s okay to be still upset. He has to feel those things and process them in his own time.
Something that might help both of you is that you make a plan to change or improve what you did that caused him to be angry. Show that you are taking responsibility for your actions and making a plan to be a better partner. Then, follow through. Actions often speak louder than words. Another apology could be warranted. One with a more humble attitude and your plan to correct your behavior explained.
Take some time for yourself while your partner works through the residual emotions. Work on what you’re going to do to prevent the thing that caused the need to apologize, to begin with, and learn from your mistakes.