The Thrill of Knife Play
Knife play can be a thrilling and intimate aspect of BDSM edge play, but safety is key. Learn how to explore knife play with experienced partners and keep it sexy yet secure.
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Our Ceremony of Roses, Vow Renewal, and Re-collaring
A couple years ago, the MR and I decided to renew our wedding vows. We had been through a rocky start to our marriage and had transformed since originally marrying from a vanilla, egalitarian relationship to a kinky, Dominant and submissive one, and finally we had arrived at Master and slave. We felt at home
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Advanced Orgasm Control Techniques
This is part two of my Orgasm Control Series. Catch up by reading part one; The Benefits of Orgasm Control and How to Get Started. At the end of that article I promised we would discuss advanced orgasm control techniques and touch on reconditioning. These topics are great for long-term couples living in some sort of power
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The 100/100 Rule: Why TPE Succeeds
There is plenty of questioning the 24/7 TPE M/s dynamic. Is it healthy? Is it even realistically possible? I wanted to share my thoughts on why it is not only healthy and realistic in real world application, but it creates incredibly happy and successful relationships. So quickly it has become the standard and expectation of
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The Benefits of Orgasm Control and How to Get Started
How I Came To See The Benefits I am about to do what was once upon a time unthinkable for me: praise the training that is orgasm control. Giving up control of my orgasm was one of the very first pieces of submission I offered my husband. We started transitioning from a vanilla, egalitarian marriage to a
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Life as a Submissive with Chronic Pain
It’s official. I am just past six months of living with chronic pain and no end in sight. It’s still new to me but somehow, also, it’s now me. It is a part of me that I have had to adjust to, just like once upon a time I had to adjust from a vanilla world to
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My Partner Is Hanging On to an Old Relationship
Hi Submissive Guide, I, and my two female subs are involved with a sub woman who lives two hours away. She drives up to see us twice a week, on her days off. She really enjoys being with us, and I’d like to collar her. The problem is that she refuses to tell her current
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In a New Relationship and Self Conscious About My Body
Thank you Mrs. Darling for answering this reader’s question! Dear Submissive Guide, I’m hoping you can offer some advice to a newbie. I’ve met a Dom online, we had a first date (just lunch) and will be meeting again shortly to negotiate a contract. I have never ever done this before. I’m overweight and over
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Power Exchange While in Addiction Recovery
As the holiday is upon us once more, I wanted to share some common feels with others who struggle with recovery. Recovery from anything: drink, drugs, eating disorders, self-harm, etc. If you are or are with somebody who considers themselves “in recovery,” this is for you. Now I only have the perspective of (using Male/female D/s
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Transitioning From Monogamy to Ethical Non-Monogamy
Transitioning from monogamy to ethical non-monogamy is like starting a new career after years in one field—it takes unlearning, growth, and patience. This article explores how to navigate the shift, manage expectations, and embrace new dynamics while honoring both your past and your future in love.
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How to Start A New Local BDSM Group
Starting a new BDSM group can feel daunting, but it’s a rewarding way to build community. From choosing a focus to finding venues and spreading the word, this guide walks you through the essentials of organizing your own munch or kink group safely, ethically, and with confidence.
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On Being Pansexual
Pansexuality is more than gender—it’s attraction to people as individuals. This reflection shares one submissive’s journey of discovering pansexual identity later in life, questioning labels, and embracing desire that transcends sex or gender. Honest, thoughtful, and personal, it offers insight into what being pansexual means in real relationships.
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Tips For Those Struggling to Enter the Local BDSM Community
I logged onto Fetlife one early Friday morning with a steamy cup of joe and saw this message straight away: I was there last night but didn’t get out of my truck. I was still in my work clothes and didn’t really know how to find you guys. Maybe I’ll try again next month. As
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Transformed: How Power Exchange Changed Us For The Better
When I first accepted BDSM into my life, it was like opening a hidden door to my soul and walking through it. That destination, that place of arrival, had nothing to do with sex. (Well, maybe the tiniest bit.) My marriage was dying. It was my second marriage (quite the accomplishment for being in my mid-twenties) and the first
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An Overview of 1950’s Head of Household Style Power Exchange
The 1950s Head of Household style of power exchange often sparks curiosity and debate in the BDSM community. This article examines what the dynamic really means, how it differs from other traditions, and why it appeals to some couples. A reflective look at structure, tradition, and submission in modern relationships.
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Finding Your Submissive Voice: Speak Up for Better, Honest Communication
Do submissives really get to have a voice? This article explores how to speak up with honesty and respect in a D/s relationship while avoiding “speaking out.” Learn how sharing your needs and feelings strengthens trust, communication, and your dynamic with your Dominant.
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The Checks and Balances in Power Exchange
Power exchange thrives on trust, but even trust needs safeguards. This article explores the role of checks and balances in D/s and M/s relationships, helping submissives protect themselves while surrendering fully. Learn practical ways to balance trust, safety, and vulnerability to maintain a healthy, consensual dynamic.
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