This is written as a bode of encouragement to those who are struggling in moving from a monogamous relationship to a non-monogamous one. This is not my saying non-monogamy is the only way, or should be your way. This is not in any way to be read as implying negativity towards monogamy. This is also […]
Transitioning From Monogamy to Ethical Non-Monogamy Read More »
Last week, we heard from Kayla Lords in a week-long series about how to enter your local BDSM community. Here’s a link to the first post in that series. But what if you can’t find it or would like to start one of your own? I recently wrote about the difficulties some new BDSM community members
How to Start A New Local BDSM Group Read More »
I used to struggle with my sexual orientation. Well, that’s not entirely true. I used to never think about my sexual orientation. I was always attracted to cis males (a male assigned male at birth) and never once felt an attraction to anybody but that. Until I did. It is quite a shocking experience to question your
On Being Pansexual Read More »
I logged onto Fetlife one early Friday morning with a steamy cup of joe and saw this message straight away: I was there last night but didn’t get out of my truck. I was still in my work clothes and didn’t really know how to find you guys. Maybe I’ll try again next month. As
Tips For Those Struggling to Enter the Local BDSM Community Read More »
When I first accepted BDSM into my life, it was like opening a hidden door to my soul and walking through it. That destination, that place of arrival, had nothing to do with sex. (Well, maybe the tiniest bit.) My marriage was dying. It was my second marriage (quite the accomplishment for being in my mid-twenties) and the first
Transformed: How Power Exchange Changed Us For The Better Read More »
In 2014, a local kink community member contacted me to say she had heard about an author compiling essays regarding different styles of the M/s dynamic, suggesting I respond regarding our 1950’s relationship. I did, and what I discovered in the correspondence about the project was surprising. The author had told me that when setting out to
An Overview of 1950’s Head of Household Style Power Exchange Read More »
Almost every submissive or slave I speak with questions their “voice.” How much to say to their Dominant? When to say it? Can they say anything? What if s/he thinks I’m rude? Would it be better to not say anything? What is appropriate? Can I still have a voice? Speaking up vs. speaking out VERSUS Shutting up
Finding Your Submissive Voice: Speak Up for Better, Honest Communication Read More »
There are things we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go. -Author Unknown Very dear to my heart is a less-than-sexy but necessary dialogue that revolves around maintaining a healthy Power Exchange dynamic.
The Checks and Balances in Power Exchange Read More »
