madison-lei

Madison Lei has been an enthusiastic participant in BDSM for almost 10 years. She has always held a particular interest in power exchange. Now, a full-time slave in an M/s relationship, she enjoys helping others find joy in their submission and fulfillment in their relationships.

Learn to Accept Your Limitations: A Personal Lesson on Teamwork In The Dynamic

By / 6 minutes of reading

As a slave, I am responsible for certain activities within the house. I cook, clean, and am otherwise generally responsible for maintaining the household in ways that do not require professional repair. So, while I’m not expected to perform plumbing or electrical work, I might be required to repaint walls or maintain the garden. One […]

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Looking for a Dominant Partner? Do This First! How To Perform a Self-Assessment

By / 11 minutes of reading

Recently, my Master and I listened in on a kink Q&A. I was interested to see what questions people had about kink, especially people seeking guidance. Somewhat surprisingly, most people who tuned in seemed to have questions about relationships more than kink. Many of them were submissives curious about how to look for or embark

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Using Ritual to Maintain and Define Power Exchange

By / 6 minutes of reading
This entry is part 35 of 35 in the series Rituals, Rules and Protocol

My Master and I had the pleasure of attending a Zoom forum recently about kink and related topics. It was a group meeting in which people of all backgrounds—kinky or not—could ask questions and offer insights about the topics that get posted. It was not quite a munch, not quite a workshop, but fun, very

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The Time Between Knots: Changing Our Perspectives on Rope Bondage

By / 7 minutes of reading

When it comes to books, as well as bondage, I’m more of a leather-bound girl, myself. So, when my Master decided to start practicing rope bondage, I used this background as my comparison. After a few months of “bonding” over rope bondage, though, I’m pretty convinced it’s a whole different animal. Perhaps there is something

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10 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Dynamic in Isolation with Your Dominant

By / 11 minutes of reading

While many of us will feel guilty when we need time away from our dominants, there is no question that it is productive and therapeutic. Spending time exclusively with your partner and not getting any personal time alone, especially introverts can be somewhat of a challenge. If you’re stuck in self-isolation, having coping mechanisms to

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The Concept of Ritual in D/s Relationships

By / 8 minutes of reading
This entry is part 25 of 35 in the series Rituals, Rules and Protocol

Rituals have always been an essential aspect of my daily life. In and outside of submission, ritual is how I interact with my reality. Practicing ritual is how I organize my time and make sense of complex abstract ideas (like love, devotion, and purpose). Yet, ritual itself is a complex abstract idea. Many people struggle to define it, and

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Building Better Briefing Lists for a More Productive Day in Uncertain Times

By / 7 minutes of reading

In “ Morning and Nighttime Briefing: Rituals for Coping with Uncertainty,” we explored implementing briefing rituals as a way of coping with uncertainty in our lives. We also discussed constructing lists for flexibly outlining our days. We approached this to help erect some semblance of a schedule when outright scheduling is not possible. While that article is a

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Morning and Nighttime Briefing: Rituals for Coping with Uncertainty

By / 11 minutes of reading
This entry is part 34 of 35 in the series Rituals, Rules and Protocol

We live in uncertain times—as submissives and as people—our lives are changing every day. Uncertainty is not automatically a problem in itself. However, many of us have become accustomed to a certain amount of structure and control in our lives, making it challenging to make an abrupt, constant change. This makes sense. After all, we

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My First Anticipatory Service and 3 Lessons It Taught Me

By / 11 minutes of reading
This entry is part 3 of 20 in the series Service Submission

In part 2 of the Anticipatory Service series, “Making Mistakes in Anticipatory Service” I recommend finding one area of your dominant’s life to enhance with anticipatory service when just starting out with it in your dynamic. This rule of singular focus creates a smoother transition. In essence, anticipatory service is about being able to see

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Exploring Service Motivations: How a Mocktail Made Me Service-Oriented

By / 6 minutes of reading
This entry is part 4 of 20 in the series Service Submission

When I was younger, my parents used to frequent an establishment where everyone knew our family. My parents knew every person on staff by name, from the manager to the janitor. They always hugged the dining room manager with two arms, and the bartender was a trusted friend who had all of their favorite cocktails

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5 Tips for Coping with Your Jealousy in a D/s Dynamic

By / 11 minutes of reading

Jealousy is an odd bird. It nests in the unlikeliest of places. It sings at the most inopportune times—and it doesn’t let anyone sleep. Whether you’re in a D/s dynamic that’s open to new play partners, or you’re in a polyamorous relationship, jealousy can be a challenge. If it’s causing snags in your relationships (and

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6 Qualities of Mindful Submission When Communicating With Our Partners

By / 7 minutes of reading

Communication is not the sexiest word a submissive can utter, but it’s one of the most necessary. An issue I hear brought up quite commonly is that it just doesn’t “feel submissive” to be talking about needs with a dominant. Still, there comes a time in every relationship when it feels like the relationship is

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The Challenge of Learning Anticipatory Service: Making Mistakes

By / 9 minutes of reading
This entry is part 12 of 20 in the series Service Submission

This is part two of the Anticipatory Service series, if you’d like to read part one, check out Exploring Service Motivations: How a Mocktail Made Me Service-Oriented. Service exists, like most things, on a spectrum. Real Service, Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny hold that reactive service is at one end of the spectrum, and proactive service is

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