When you get married, you have to legally sign a document attesting to your decision to be married. The legal document can come in many forms but most have a brief section about what each party declares for the union, how they will treat each other and how commitment will be displayed (change of names […]
What You Need To Know About Using Contracts to Negotiate a Relationship Read More »
So, you want me to tell you how you can tell if you are submissive or not? Asking someone else if you are submissive is like asking a blind man what color your dress is. Is there some magical online quiz that can say whether you are submissive or slave? Unfortunately no and I don’t
I love reading BDSM fiction, erotica and other service books. I broke my kinky teeth on the Story of O so I can’t ignore it on this list, but it’s not the best of the best. I’d like to offer up the books that I love and enjoy to read; most of which I like
Best BDSM Fiction for Hot Steamy Nights Read More »
I’ve been witness to a shocking new trend in relationships lately. Perhaps I’m old school or old-fashioned but what I’m seeing in today’s society, and not just the BDSM culture, is the lack of effort in relationships. As I was raised I was taught that something worthwhile wasn’t always easy to achieve and you may
Protocol. It can be a scary word if you are new to submission. In a relationship, it is likely that you will have some protocol established to control your behavior. So, what is protocol? Simply defined, a protocol is the set of special rules that you follow for defined situations that remind you of your
How to Revive Your Service When Protocol Becomes Boring Read More »
A very common first request of a potential Dominant, either online or offline is to have you start a submissive journal. If you’ve never kept a diary then this can be a daunting task. Having to write openly and honestly about your feelings and experiences can have a huge impact on your submissive and personal development.
How To Start Your Submissive Journal Read More »
Being an emotionally healthy person is a goal that all of us have but a smaller margin actually accomplish. With the constant stress of commitments and modern day obligations, our emotions face the brunt of it. The goal of a submissive is to seek that balance in emotional states so that our service appears stress-free
Living as an Emotionally Healthy Submissive Read More »
So, you’ve met submissives and slaves online, their Dominant and Master counterparts but as you get to know them and how they interact you start to see the things they do blurring the lines of what you had believed a submissive was, or that a slave wasn’t supposed to act this way, etc. It brings
Should There Be Clear Definitions to Label Yourself In This Lifestyle? Read More »
I’ve always believed that safewords are only good if you know how to use them. Good ole communication is great for things like numb limbs, an itch you can’t reach or a bathroom break. Submissive Guide is here for novices and it’s always good to teach about safewords and recommend that you have one. In
The Safety Disguise of Safewords: Safewords Are Not Always Safe Read More »
You know you’ve entered online submissive ground when everyone you don’t know starts to refer to you as a sister. It’s been years since I’ve ‘lived’ online but this is something that has always irked me. Recently on FetLife, I saw a question that had an interesting twist to the whole sister submissive thing that I’d like
Don’t Assume Submissive Means Sister: Calling Me Your Sub Sister May Be a Bit Much Read More »
Your training resume should be growing in bulk and excellent information if you’ve been following along and developing your sections fully. We are now going to work on your community exposure section. What I mean by community exposure are all the classes, extended weekends, get aways and other events you’ve attended in your past that
Add Convention, Class and Event Notes to your Submissive Training Resume Read More »
At the beginning of this blog, I wrote about safewords. Just a reminder that a safeword is a signal that ends BDSM play and usually negotiated before play. It’s an excellent starting point but I left a part of it out. There will be occasions during BDSM play where you will be unable to speak. In
Nonverbal Ways to Safeword Read More »
A few months ago I started a list of things you can do to improve your submission immediately. If you want to see what’s on that list, you can find that post in the archives. I’d like to continue to add to that list because there are always things you can do but may not see
Another 7 Things You Can Do Today to Improve Your Submission Read More »
It can be terrifying approaching a Dominant and asking them to play with you. The butterflies in your belly can make it very difficult to take that first step. It can be even worse if you two don’t negotiate the scene to get what you want out of it, and they do too. Negotiating a
The Basics of Negotiating a BDSM Scene Read More »
Competition is human nature. From the time we are children we start to see who is ‘better’ and hopefully, that is you. It could be as simple as having more ice cream than your sibling thus making you better or getting the best grade on a test, making you better than everyone else in the
My Submission is Better Than Your Submission: Advice About Competition Read More »
A check in is where either partner provides clues as to their comfort, pain tolerance, pleasure level or other information during a scene or play session. Even the most experienced players continue to check in with their partners during play; it is a good practice to have. Whether you are playing with your partner or
How to Use Playtime Check Ins Wisely Read More »
Since the beginning of Submissive Guide, I have been writing essays to help you build your service/submissive/slave resume. This is the living document of your experience and training on different tasks and a variety of relationships. If you are interested in reading the previous posts about the Training Resume I suggest you start at the topic
Add Your Favorite BDSM Books Reading List to Your Submissive Training Resume Read More »
Each and every day there is the chance to screw up and be disobedient. Luckily, most of us won’t break rules every single day but when we do we know that punishment will come swiftly and precisely. That is unless you are an online submissive. Then there are a few other steps to having punishment
A Lesson in Control with Self-Punishment Read More »
We all have those little voices in our head that tell us what to do. Sometimes it tries to convince us that our disobedience is okay. The voices are very convincing at times and then we have guilt riding with us until we come clean. Perhaps you’ve heard these voices yourself: “Come on, he won’t see me
Coming Clean: Admitting Your Disobedience Read More »
I’m personally not a domestic person. When I do find the desire to clean it’s normally to relieve stress (believe it or not). It can help calm my nerves and give my mind something else to do while working on the house. Since I’ve become Master’s stay at home submissive I find I need to
Finding Domesticity In You Read More »
