Being in the BDSM community for any length of time you are likely to come across the common sermons of SSC, Safe Calls, and First Meeting Safety. When you are a novice in BDSM I’d encourage you to listen to these sermons and listen hard; they could protect you as you venture out into the […]
Why Safety is Preached to Novices and Why It’s Important to Know Anyway Read More »
Continuing my four-part series on types of submission today will be about positional service. As a reminder, the forms of submission are: Positional service is the most prevalent in non-D/S settings. It is customer service; you are in a position to serve, and so you serve. A set of itemized expectations defines the service. In
What is Positional Service? Read More »
This is a continuation of the series on the most common forms of service in a D/s relationship. The forms are: Situational service encompasses conditional service. The submissive serves the Dominant partner based on specific situations or circumstances rather than as part of an ongoing dynamic. Unlike transactional service, which often involves negotiated tasks or
What is Situational Service? Read More »
When I admitted that I had crossed into adulthood, somewhere around 23, I realized that the manners that had not been instilled in me as a child hindered my interactions with people. I appeared crude and rude and immature. Since that defining moment, I have found my manners and enhanced my etiquette. Hopefully, people see
Mind Your Manners: Not just for kids anymore Read More »
Service can mean different things to different people. Just as submission is different depending on the person and dynamic, so is the type of service that submissive provides. In the list below I have what I call the four types of service that are most common in D/s relationships. I’ve come across several different ways
What is Transactional Service? Read More »
When you engage in playtime with a Dominant your body is the canvas for sensation and pleasure. You can run the gamut of emotions and many of them can take you by surprise. It’s not uncommon even for someone who plays regularly to be shocked by a new reaction to a play activity that they
Understanding Your Body’s Responses During Play Read More »
This is a response to the following request for advice: I have a Dom, and He loves me. But the things is, sometimes he act as my “boyfriend” then he acts as my Master. I am having trouble dealing with the fact that he wants that Master and sub relationship as my utmost and foremost
Understanding a D/s Relationship as a Newbie Submissive Read More »
WHAT IS ROLE-PLAYING? When you think of role-playing what comes to your mind? Naughty school girl? Nurse-patient? French maid? A lot of what we do can classify itself under role-playing. In fact, D/s is a form of role-playing. For many people it is just a character they don to play or have some kinky fun;
How to Use Role Play to Spice Up Your Sex Life Read More »
Every relationship dynamic is different. If you’ve been following this blog for any length of time you have been exposed to some very unique relationships and the submissives in those relationships. There are submissives who are pets, some who are slaves, others who, like you’ve read recently, are hunt sluts for their owners. Today I’m going
Submissive Skills: Service Topping For Your Dominant’s Pleasure Read More »
Relationships of any type are unique and special to those involved in them. But how many types of relationships are there? The answer is related to how many people their are. As each person enters into a relationship their expectations are different and varied. This forms the unique mesh that is a relationship. We can,
5 Types of Power Exchange Relationships Read More »
The bedroom in most homes is supposed to be a refuge from the stress of the world; to reconnect with your partner and to recharge after a hard day at work. However, it is commonly the last room people clean and organizes to suit their needs. I know in our house the bedroom is often
Domesticity: The Bedroom Read More »
Not long ago I had someone ask me privately why I feel the need to help submissives with this website, and what qualifications I have to tell people how to improve themselves. And it’s true that I don’t have any life coaching training or experience with counseling, but for what I do here only one
BDSM checklists are often one of the first things you hear about when you begin your journey into BDSM and submission. Looking at a complex checklist you found on www.onewaytodobdsm.com (not a real site) can have you obsess over every term you don’t know. I’ve even written about checklists several times on SubmissiveGuide.com. But when it comes
What’s The Big Deal With BDSM Checklists? Read More »
Another question from March Question Month comes from Coco: I am curious about what your thoughts on those who admit to participating underage are? I have been referred to as “vanilla” for being uncomfortable with those who identify/have identified as submissives and slaves at/from a very young age. I can understand experimenting at a young
What I Think about Underage Experimentation and Submission Read More »
This is a question tammy asked for March Question Month: I have had a few Doms and I am in a relationship where I live with one.I didn’t think I could find someone that makes me this happy but I did. The problem is I keep thinking about my first Dom that introduced me into
Are You Cheating on Your Dominant With Your Ex Dominant’s Memory? Read More »
For March Question Month Cilla Noir asks: How do you handle your serious mood swings or when something just “sets you off”? When you go from one end of the spectrum to another – sometimes justified, sometimes not. Normally, when I was on my own, I would just throw a fit. Being back in a
Diffuse Extreme Mood Swings Before They Get You In Trouble Read More »
Topping from the bottom has been given a bad wrap. It’s considered by many to be a faux pax for any submissive. Online communities shun and shame many people who even ask about the subject and want to know if what they did was considered wrong. Too many people tell these people that yes it
When Is It Okay to Top From the Bottom? Read More »
Every submissive goes though it. You may be going through it now. Those butterflies in your stomach because you’ve just set a date for your first play session. Things are still so new and exciting. You don’t know what to expect or how you will react to things. It’s all so strange and foreign feeling.
First Playtime Jitters and How to Arrive Prepared Read More »
We all have one. FetLife is all the rage, but also we have alt.com, bondage.com, and others where we place ads and identity profiles to get people interested. This interest can be friends or relationship related; it doesn’t matter. What matters is what we broadcast to everyone across our profiles. You need to keep things secure and consider what’s
What NOT to Share on Your Online Profile Read More »
When I first started exploring submission I heard and read numerous times that submission is a gift to the Dominant that accepts it. For a long time, I subscribed to this way of thinking and there is nothing wrong with thinking about your submission this way. I’m not here to tell you that you are
The Gift of Submission, Or Is It? Read More »
