In D/s sexuality one of the more common rules is that the Dominant controls the orgasms and sexual release of the submissive. Some require that the submissive not even touch themselves without the say so of the Dominant. In this style of power exchange, it is familiar territory that the submissive will learn how to […]
Orgasm Control: Learning How to Ask for an Orgasm Read More »
Every time we have to face our family as a kink couple, Master and I have had to tone it down and disguise how we normally live our lives. Our family does not know how we live and they really don’t have any business knowing. I’m not going to ask my father what he does
Season’s Beatings: Navigating Holidays Around Your Family as a Kinky Couple Read More »
When we first begin exploring submission and our desires to serve there are usually a lot of baggage we bring to the table. It can cloud our minds and impact how we serve and submit to someone else. No one comes without any baggage at all but the way you handle it and prepare for
Purging Your Emotional Garbage Can Will Prepare You Better for Service Read More »
Sexting gets so much bad press these days when it comes to teens sharing naughty pictures of themselves and their friends. It’s not just teens that are doing it though. The majority of the kink community uses mobile devices to carry on their kinky lives unbeknown-st to those around them at the office, on the bus or
How to Get Started With Sexting and Mobile Kink Read More »
Many of the BDSM activities we may engage in are inherently sexual in nature, even if no sex actually occurs. Being aware and using safe sex barriers when necessary is your protection from disease and infection. I’m amazed by casual play partners that don’t employ these simple techniques to protect themselves and future partners. But
A Safer Kinky Sex How-To Read More »
Every time we talk about sex and sexually related activities such as many of the BDSM and kinky play we do it’s important, if not imperative, that we are safe and aware of the most common sexually transmitted diseases and infections you can get. You should have tests for STDs regularly if you choose to
The 6 Most Common STDs Read More »
“What are your limits?” “Scat, blood, the dead and kids.” “You must be new.” “Huh?” “Only the novices have so few limits.” This is a real conversation. It happens all over the net and in munch groups. Sure there are no-limits slaves out there, but that’s just not as common as the rest of us. We come
Limits: Drawing That Line In The Sand Read More »
When I was a novice submissive, one of the questions I got asked pretty regularly online was, “do you have any training?” Well, no I don’t think I had. What was training anyhow? Where do I go to get it? What would I be learning? Now that my novice days are behind me I don’t
Formal Training – Do You Need It? Read More »
Protocol. It’s a word that is used in BDSM groups online and off with a sort of secrecy and awe. It’s relegated to those in 24/7 type relationships and rarely discussed as what it really is. Protocol is a defined set of rules and behaviors for special situations. That’s it. You don’t have to be in any
Creating a Personal Submissive Protocol Read More »
Everyone has to start here. The very beginning, where all the jargon of BDSM starts to fill your mind and overwhelm your feelings. You think you are a pervert, or not normal. You could even be trying to suppress those kinky thoughts from your mind. But they keep creeping back in, don’t they. For the brave souls that start searching for
Those First Few Baby Steps into BDSM and Submission Read More »
One of the many unique things about being a submissive is that you can focus your development any which way you choose. You can focus on service or sex, kinky play or happy devotion. Your submission can be part time, full time or somewhere in-between. No one should judge you for how you want to
A Slave Heart – Do You Have One? Do You Need One? Read More »
Contracts are a sticky subject in discussions. I’ve briefly covered it before in this article. The opinions are all over the place as far as their value or use as a tool for relationships. I can understand why they are a common thread in forums all over the place. A contract is a physical document outlining the
Using Contracts in D/s Relationships Read More »
(Caveat: I am not an expert historian of BDSM. What I have learned I picked up along the way. I can’t say with certainty what is true and what is false. I have made every effort to let you know if I’m uncertain of the validity of a certain claim.) If your only view of
The Popularity of BDSM Read More »
An activity in the Community area asks for everyone to start a 30 minute beauty routine once a week; taking time to care for your most important asset: yourself. When you start caring for your body and health one of the first things we think about is better skin. I’ve tried all of the different
5 Homemade Facial Recipes Read More »
UPDATE: New Post – How to Use FetLife Just under 3 years ago the BDSM community was a very differnet place. There has always been discussion boards and chat rooms. We could always connect via mySpace and Facebook, but there was never a centralized social network. Until FetLife came into being. I joined the site when
What FetLife Has Done To Change The Kink Community Read More »
Last February was a difficult month for me. Like many in this failing economy, I found myself without a job. I was stressed and frustrated and knew that it would be very difficult to find another job when the competition was over 7% of the state’s workforce. Master wasn’t going to let me stay frustrated
In this hustle and bustle world, we are losing an important connection. No, I’m not talking about the internet; we are all plugged and tuned out from the world around us. We seldom recognize the people around us let alone acknowledge them. If your goal is to be a submissive that serves every wish of
How to Be More Aware of Your Self and Surroundings to Improve Your Submission Read More »
One of the most feared activities of a novice is getting up the nerve to meet other people face to face. Yet this is one of the first things that I and many others recommend for those wishing to get into BDSM. I encourage people to learn all they want behind the comfort of a
Getting to Know the Local and Not so Local BDSM Community: Attending Munch Groups Read More »
Just like a business mission statement a life mission statement helps to define who you are, where you are going and how you want to get there. Becoming the best submissive you can be is a journey, there is no denying that. A mission statement that you can learn and grow by can help with
How to Write a Submissive Life Mission Statement Read More »
Do you have a morning ritual? Morning rituals are fantastic ways of setting a routine and developing a focusing meditation bright and early in the day. I’ve had morning rituals off an on throughout my service and they are quite enjoyable. I’ve not maintained one since I became a stay at home submissive and certainly
How to Create a Morning Ritual to Streamline Your Routine Read More »
