“What are your limits?” “Scat, blood, the dead and kids.” “You must be new.” “Huh?” “Only the novices have so few limits.” This is a real conversation. It happens all over the net and in munch groups. Sure there are no-limits slaves out there, but that’s just not as common as the rest of us. We come […]
Limits: Drawing That Line In The Sand Read More »
When I was a novice submissive, one of the questions I got asked pretty regularly online was, “do you have any training?” Well, no I don’t think I had. What was training anyhow? Where do I go to get it? What would I be learning? Now that my novice days are behind me I don’t
Formal Training – Do You Need It? Read More »
Protocol. It’s a word that is used in BDSM groups online and off with a sort of secrecy and awe. It’s relegated to those in 24/7 type relationships and rarely discussed as what it really is. Protocol is a defined set of rules and behaviors for special situations. That’s it. You don’t have to be in any
Creating a Personal Submissive Protocol Read More »
Everyone has to start here. The very beginning, where all the jargon of BDSM starts to fill your mind and overwhelm your feelings. You think you are a pervert, or not normal. You could even be trying to suppress those kinky thoughts from your mind. But they keep creeping back in, don’t they. For the brave souls that start searching for
Those First Few Baby Steps into BDSM and Submission Read More »
One of the many unique things about being a submissive is that you can focus your development any which way you choose. You can focus on service or sex, kinky play or happy devotion. Your submission can be part time, full time or somewhere in-between. No one should judge you for how you want to
A Slave Heart – Do You Have One? Do You Need One? Read More »
Contracts are a sticky subject in discussions. I’ve briefly covered it before in this article. The opinions are all over the place as far as their value or use as a tool for relationships. I can understand why they are a common thread in forums all over the place. A contract is a physical document outlining the
Using Contracts in D/s Relationships Read More »
(Caveat: I am not an expert historian of BDSM. What I have learned I picked up along the way. I can’t say with certainty what is true and what is false. I have made every effort to let you know if I’m uncertain of the validity of a certain claim.) If your only view of
The Popularity of BDSM Read More »
An activity in the Community area asks for everyone to start a 30 minute beauty routine once a week; taking time to care for your most important asset: yourself. When you start caring for your body and health one of the first things we think about is better skin. I’ve tried all of the different
5 Homemade Facial Recipes Read More »
UPDATE: New Post – How to Use FetLife Just under 3 years ago the BDSM community was a very differnet place. There has always been discussion boards and chat rooms. We could always connect via mySpace and Facebook, but there was never a centralized social network. Until FetLife came into being. I joined the site when
What FetLife Has Done To Change The Kink Community Read More »
Last February was a difficult month for me. Like many in this failing economy, I found myself without a job. I was stressed and frustrated and knew that it would be very difficult to find another job when the competition was over 7% of the state’s workforce. Master wasn’t going to let me stay frustrated
In this hustle and bustle world, we are losing an important connection. No, I’m not talking about the internet; we are all plugged and tuned out from the world around us. We seldom recognize the people around us let alone acknowledge them. If your goal is to be a submissive that serves every wish of
How to Be More Aware of Your Self and Surroundings to Improve Your Submission Read More »
One of the most feared activities of a novice is getting up the nerve to meet other people face to face. Yet this is one of the first things that I and many others recommend for those wishing to get into BDSM. I encourage people to learn all they want behind the comfort of a
Getting to Know the Local and Not so Local BDSM Community: Attending Munch Groups Read More »
Just like a business mission statement a life mission statement helps to define who you are, where you are going and how you want to get there. Becoming the best submissive you can be is a journey, there is no denying that. A mission statement that you can learn and grow by can help with
How to Write a Submissive Life Mission Statement Read More »
Do you have a morning ritual? Morning rituals are fantastic ways of setting a routine and developing a focusing meditation bright and early in the day. I’ve had morning rituals off an on throughout my service and they are quite enjoyable. I’ve not maintained one since I became a stay at home submissive and certainly
How to Create a Morning Ritual to Streamline Your Routine Read More »
One of the frugal and simple living things that you can do at home is to make your own laundry soap. I’ve been making my own for over a year and it’s only cost me about $15 in materials. For the soap flakes I grate castille (vegetable oil) soap that I get at the supermarket
How to Make Laundry Soap Read More »
To complete the series on types of service, today I’m going to cover devotional service. If you’d like a refresher on the other types of service please see the other posts: Devotional service in D/s relationships involves the submissive partner expressing their devotion, reverence, and commitment to the dominant partner through service, worship, or adoration.
What is Devotional Service? Read More »
Not everyone is capable of being submissive. It is even possible that you are not really cut out for it. We all have different thresholds for what we can and can’t do, but realizing we can’t be submissive isn’t the end of the world. Great, so how do you know if you can be submissive
Are You Cut Out to Be Submissive? Read More »
Being in the BDSM community for any length of time you are likely to come across the common sermons of SSC, Safe Calls, and First Meeting Safety. When you are a novice in BDSM I’d encourage you to listen to these sermons and listen hard; they could protect you as you venture out into the
Why Safety is Preached to Novices and Why It’s Important to Know Anyway Read More »
Continuing my four-part series on types of submission today will be about positional service. As a reminder, the forms of submission are: Positional service is the most prevalent in non-D/S settings. It is customer service; you are in a position to serve, and so you serve. A set of itemized expectations defines the service. In
What is Positional Service? Read More »
This is a continuation of the series on the most common forms of service in a D/s relationship. The forms are: Situational service encompasses conditional service. The submissive serves the Dominant partner based on specific situations or circumstances rather than as part of an ongoing dynamic. Unlike transactional service, which often involves negotiated tasks or
What is Situational Service? Read More »
