Open communication is complicated by shyness. Addressing that shyness could help you open up to your partner and others instead of the social discomfort you constantly feel. But what is shyness and how does it manifest? You can get over being shy and start living your life free from social awkwardness. Then your submissive communication […]
The Secret of Communicating When You Are Shy Read More »
Every few months I take a look at what BDSM related books readers of the Submissive Guide community are buying at Amazon (according to the reports Amazon give us from our affiliate program*). Today I spent some time digging into the purchases of BDSM books and have compiled the following breakdown of best selling books
The Best-selling Items on Amazon According to What Our Readers Are Buying Read More »
Frustration is a normal human response. It can get out of hand and escalate to anger if not handled well. As submissives, we seem to deal with frustration more openly than others in the lifestyle. Let’s start with a definition from Wikipedia about frustration. In psychology, frustration is a common emotional response to opposition. Related to
Overcoming Frustration and Anger as a Submissive Read More »
I was once an online submissive. I know a bit about the language and grammar rules that reside there. They are creative and interesting and serve their purpose online. When you bring them into real life they get more annoying, but in some relationships and dynamics, they still serve their purpose. What language adjustments am
There are birthdays and anniversaries, holidays and special occasions of all sorts and when a submissive wants to shower their Dominant with gifts it can be a challenge on what to get them. If you are like me, you don’t have your own money and any that you ask for you have to quantify with
My Top 10 Low Cost Gift Ideas for Your Dominant Read More »
Rarely have I heard of an end of a relationship being good, civil yes, but good? Yet I have heard on numerous occasions that relationship ends can be bad and others very bad. What makes some of these horrible is the immaturity of the people involved and what that causes them to do. I have
What To Do In a Bad Break-up Situation Read More »
Online BDSM relationships come in many different flavors. As I’ve explored before, they can be a good novice outlet for learning more about yourself in a safe, relatively anonymous environment. I started out in an online relationship only because the fear of being kinky (and an unwilling husband) kept me locked behind my computer. I
When You’re Left to Beating Yourself Up – Online SM at a Glance Read More »
There are a lot of things on the internet talking about topping from the bottom as being a bad submissive thing. It’s made people terrified that everything they do could be crossing that terrible line. It’s not true. I’ve mentioned it before and I’ll say it again. Bottom topping isn’t as bad as it is hyped. First,
The Real Truth Behind the Fear of Topping from the Bottom Read More »
Submission – it’s hard work. For the 24/7 types it’s an all the time thing. So what happens if you wake up one day and you don’t feel like submitting? You could voice it as a break or get really cranky every time you are asked to perform your duties as a submissive. If you are
5 Ways to Reset Your “Feel Submissive” Button Read More »
Happy Halloween! Soon we’ll see ghosts and goblins begging at our door for sweets and treats, but for now, I’d like to talk about how Halloween is a perfect time of year for exploring kink as well. When was the last time you saw an adult dressed up as a naughty school girl, nurse, biker
Halloween – A Good Time to Let Your Kink Out Read More »
In a previous article, I discussed conflict resolution in a D/s relationship. This post will continue the discussion on returning to your submissive role after the argument. So, you’ve taken my advice from the previous article and stepped outside your roles to resolve a conflict with your partner. Perhaps you had an all-out fight. Relationships
3 Ways to Recover From a Fight and Return to Submission Post-Argument Read More »
Last month I had a question show up in my inbox that actually had me puzzled for a bit. Not that the question was difficult at all, but that I honestly didn’t think about how I handle it in our relationship, so I got up and asked KM. He assured me that my thought process
5 Ways to Resolve Conflict in a D/s Relationship Read More »
Some of the insane talk coming from online communities all the time is that you can’t be submissive without a Dominant (or can’t be slave without a Master). This can cause quite a confusion for novice submissives who are learning more about themselves and can even dash your dreams. Okay, so I understand why people
How To Be Submissive Without a Dominant Read More »
Some level of selfishness is healthy, how else can you get what you want and need to remain happy if you don’t get what you want occasionally? There are right and wrong ways to go about it though.
Submissive Self-Improvement: 10 Strategies to Tackle Selfishness Read More »
Bedroom BDSM is the most common form of BDSM relationship there is. So much of what we do has to happen behind closed doors and in the bedrooms of kinky couples all over. What is considered lifestyle domination and submission or 24/7 D/s is a rare thing. Before KnyghtMare and I moved to a TPE
How to Make the Most Out of Your Bedroom BDSM Read More »
When Master and I play, it’s very likely that there will be marks, at least temporarily. Caring for them is part of the aftercare we have set up for me. We are pretty minimal when it comes to first aid for them because I like to keep them as long as possible. I’m the sort
First Aid for Bruises, Abrasions and Other After Play Marks Read More »
We never want our scene time to end. It’s fun and pleasant and lovely. When we play we have a chance that the blissful time we are experiencing will end well or may end suddenly from something unexpected. Yes, we do everything we can to avoid having to stop play but when sudden illness takes
Fainting, Headaches and Nausea: Facing Sudden Illness During Play/Scene Time Read More »
I’ll be the first to say that even after 7 years of being with my Dominant that I still occasionally test his limits and the rules placed on me. It’s not because I don’t believe that I should be following the rules or that he’s lacking in his Dominance. Not at all. It’s a natural
What Does Breaking the Rules and Testing a Dominant’s Limits Help You Learn? Read More »
Since late 2008 FetLife has proven itself to be a valuable resource for those persons looking for kink advice and learning all about fetishes they may not have ever considered. It’s also a good place to make friends with local people and organize events. But since the search capacity is limited it can be very difficult to find
How to Use FetLife to Broaden Your BDSM Learning Read More »
I’ve talked about safewords here before. I believe they are very important for new relationships and when new activities are being introduced. A stop word is a break in the play; one that typically halts play completely, but can also be one where slowing down is the direction. Yes there are people who don’t use safewords and
Use Your Safeword Without Guilt – You Are NOT a Bad Sub For Needing It Read More »
