Submission – it’s hard work. For the 24/7 types it’s an all the time thing. So what happens if you wake up one day and you don’t feel like submitting? You could voice it as a break or get really cranky every time you are asked to perform your duties as a submissive. If you are […]
5 Ways to Reset Your “Feel Submissive” Button Read More »
Happy Halloween! Soon we’ll see ghosts and goblins begging at our door for sweets and treats, but for now, I’d like to talk about how Halloween is a perfect time of year for exploring kink as well. When was the last time you saw an adult dressed up as a naughty school girl, nurse, biker
Halloween – A Good Time to Let Your Kink Out Read More »
In a previous article, I discussed conflict resolution in a D/s relationship. This post will continue the discussion on returning to your submissive role after the argument. So, you’ve taken my advice from the previous article and stepped outside your roles to resolve a conflict with your partner. Perhaps you had an all-out fight. Relationships
3 Ways to Recover From a Fight and Return to Submission Post-Argument Read More »
Last month I had a question show up in my inbox that actually had me puzzled for a bit. Not that the question was difficult at all, but that I honestly didn’t think about how I handle it in our relationship, so I got up and asked KM. He assured me that my thought process
5 Ways to Resolve Conflict in a D/s Relationship Read More »
Some of the insane talk coming from online communities all the time is that you can’t be submissive without a Dominant (or can’t be slave without a Master). This can cause quite a confusion for novice submissives who are learning more about themselves and can even dash your dreams. Okay, so I understand why people
How To Be Submissive Without a Dominant Read More »
Some level of selfishness is healthy, how else can you get what you want and need to remain happy if you don’t get what you want occasionally? There are right and wrong ways to go about it though.
Submissive Self-Improvement: 10 Strategies to Tackle Selfishness Read More »
Bedroom BDSM is the most common form of BDSM relationship there is. So much of what we do has to happen behind closed doors and in the bedrooms of kinky couples all over. What is considered lifestyle domination and submission or 24/7 D/s is a rare thing. Before KnyghtMare and I moved to a TPE
How to Make the Most Out of Your Bedroom BDSM Read More »
When Master and I play, it’s very likely that there will be marks, at least temporarily. Caring for them is part of the aftercare we have set up for me. We are pretty minimal when it comes to first aid for them because I like to keep them as long as possible. I’m the sort
First Aid for Bruises, Abrasions and Other After Play Marks Read More »
We never want our scene time to end. It’s fun and pleasant and lovely. When we play we have a chance that the blissful time we are experiencing will end well or may end suddenly from something unexpected. Yes, we do everything we can to avoid having to stop play but when sudden illness takes
Fainting, Headaches and Nausea: Facing Sudden Illness During Play/Scene Time Read More »
I’ll be the first to say that even after 7 years of being with my Dominant that I still occasionally test his limits and the rules placed on me. It’s not because I don’t believe that I should be following the rules or that he’s lacking in his Dominance. Not at all. It’s a natural
What Does Breaking the Rules and Testing a Dominant’s Limits Help You Learn? Read More »
Since late 2008 FetLife has proven itself to be a valuable resource for those persons looking for kink advice and learning all about fetishes they may not have ever considered. It’s also a good place to make friends with local people and organize events. But since the search capacity is limited it can be very difficult to find
How to Use FetLife to Broaden Your BDSM Learning Read More »
I’ve talked about safewords here before. I believe they are very important for new relationships and when new activities are being introduced. A stop word is a break in the play; one that typically halts play completely, but can also be one where slowing down is the direction. Yes there are people who don’t use safewords and
Use Your Safeword Without Guilt – You Are NOT a Bad Sub For Needing It Read More »
Aftercare is an elusive beast. Sometimes I need it and sometimes I’d rather be left alone. I’m never very sure which mood I’ll be in when we begin playing but aftercare is always on standby because I take what happens in scene very hard. It goes with my very emotional self. What exactly is aftercare? Reading some
Monogamy isn’t dead. It is still the leading form of relationship in D/s and SM relationships, no matter what someone else might tell you. Human nature dictates that we aren’t wired for long term fidelity, but so many of us are perfectly fine in one partner for all time relationship. You can still look for monogamy if
Is Monogamy a Dying Trend? The Rise of Poly in BDSM Relationships Read More »
One thing I have learned from my experience as a submissive and my encounters with submissives and slaves all over the place has been the importance of taking things slowly. At one time or another, we all tend to rashly jump into a D/s relationship without really knowing the Dominant that we are surrendering to.
The Importance of Taking Your Time Exploring Submission Before Starting a Relationship Read More »
It’s easy to fall in love, but hard to find the right person to catch you. ~ @iam_jhurlz Dominants the world over are unique and different – just like we are. And when you are on the look out for the one to partner with it can get overwhelming. The qualities to look for in a
The Outline of a Good Compatible Dominant Read More »
The past month has been a busy month for me, as I prepared and delivered my first presentation at an event. Before this I had never given more than a planned speech in college, and this was a new and exciting experience for me. It didn’t come without it’s ups and downs however. During the
How an Outline Aligned My Submission and What You Can Learn From Your Own Outline Read More »
Virginity. It’s valued and prized and then remembered. There are even people who believe in a second virginity. Of course, there are also BDSM virgins when people just get started. But, the question I got posed to me the other day was if you are a sexual virgin can you even know that you are
Virgins Can Love BDSM Too: How Sexual Preference Doesn’t Have to Involve Sex Read More »
When your body overloads on adrenaline or endorphins you can reach a high that many call subspace. It doesn’t happen to everyone, nor does it happen every single time you play. Sometimes it can happen if you are in an erotic exchange but not playing. You need to know what you should and shouldn’t do
Entering Sub Space Do’s and Don’ts Read More »
Music always has a place in play for setting the right mood. We all have our own preferences but here are three playlists that I go back to again and again. Romance Soft Play and Bondage Below are groups that I find have a wide variety of sounds that are great for bondage and softer
3 BDSM Scene Music Playlists For The Dungeon and Bedroom Read More »
