When it comes to the idea of topping from the bottom, which I’ve covered several times on the site already, the most common idea that gets bantered about is if asking and requesting something is topping from the bottom. Oftentimes, with novice submissives, it is assumed that showing any sort of desire for something that […]
Newsflash: Feeding His Dominance Is Not Topping From Below Read More »
Hi, everyone! I hope that you have had time to read the first section of the book club book, “Conquer Me” by Kacie Cunningham. If you want to read the book at a later time, I suggest you skip this book club series – as I can’t promise there won’t be “spoilers.” Then again, this
Conquer Me Book Club – Week 1 Read More »
It is true that we are newlyweds and we do all the newlywed sort of things that you’d expect to see; the hand holding, overt affection in public, lovey eyes and little giggling grins. What you may not see is that we’ve actually been together for 8 years and all of this isn’t new to
How Love Feeds Service in a D/s Relationship Read More »
Last week I told you the exciting news; Submissive Guide will be hosting a month long book club event on one of my favorite and most recommended books about submission, “Conquer Me” by Kacie Cunningham. I hope all of you rushed off and ordered your book because today we start reading! Please read the forward,
Start Reading “Conquer Me” for Submissive Guide’s First Ever Book Club Event! Read More »
I’ve wanted to hold an online book club event on Submissive Guide for quite some time and if you are a member of the Club you may have noticed a book club group there. This is the first book club event that I’m holding through the blog and I hope many of you will follow
Submissive Guide’s First Book Club Event – Conquer Me by Kacie Cunningham Read More »
Last month I told you about a model I’ll be using to help you coach yourself into a better submissive space called the CREATE Model. It has worked for me to begin the internal work on the parts of me I’d like to change. Today we’ll talk about one of the steps of the CREATE Model
Solo Coaching – Re-write Negative Thinking Read More »
Cooking for someone who has a laundry list of items they don’t like feels like an impossible task here in this house. KnyghtMare and I have very differing tastes when it comes to food. Just as I could eat breakfast any time of day, meals are for specific times in KnyghtMare’s mind. We never have
Domestic Challenge of the Day – Cooking for a Picky Dominant Read More »
If you had asked me six months ago if I was into poly relationships I’d probably say no. KnyghtMare and I are happily monogamous and have been so for 8 years. He’s had play partners, but never with any sex so I still considered us monogamous even if the real definition was something along the
Adding The Second Submissive – Branching Out Into Poly Relationships For The First Time Read More »
Consider for a moment that there is a Dominant that you’ve had your eye on for awhile but you think that s/he may not even know you exist. Do you just wait and hope that they will discover you or do you get the nerve to talk to them? Several of the submissives I’ve talked
How to Approach a Dominant You Are Interested In Read More »
Not all Dominants take well to someone who wishes to serve them intimately and with all things. It may seem counter-productive but oftentimes the Dominant is very self-sufficient and requires little aid in their lives. So what is a submissive wishing to serve to do in a situation like this? What is self-sufficiency? A self-sufficient
How to Serve a Self-Sufficient Dominant Read More »
Getting ready for play is full of excitement and nerves. It can be so difficult to focus on anything but the upcoming time with your Dominant. Setting up a preparation routine will not only make the session more enjoyable for your Dominant but will put you more at ease to enjoy it also. So what
Preparing Your Body for a Scene Read More »
Oftentimes instead of writing out the words we abbreviate or create acronyms or groups of initials to say the same thing. Here is a list of the more common letter groupings when it comes to talking about BDSM and submission. These could also be seen in profiles and dating sites. @: In discussions, addressing a
Acronyms, Abbreviations and Initialisms in BDSM Conversation Read More »
It is the people who can do nothing who can find nothing to do, and the secret of happiness in this world is not only to be useful, but to be forever elevating one’s usefulness – Sandra Orne Jewett Reading what I have to say day in and day out can lead you to a
Active Submission Means Always Improving Yourself Read More »
Being introduced to a ball gag was a scary thing for me. I had always envisioned it as limiting my breathing and never thought to try it out before it showed up in a scene. The first ball gag I owned was small, spongy ball on a leather strap. It was small and I could open
Perspectives: Gags Read More »
This is another entry into the self-mentoring series here on Submissive Guide. If your recall back in the first post about solo coaching I asked you and tasked you to start holding private coaching sessions with yourself. Hopefully, you have kept up with these and have earmarked a few challenges in your life that might need some
Solo Coaching – The CREATE Model Read More »
Submission definitely isn’t easy. No matter what direction your journey takes you will have moments where struggle and strife challenge you to continue your submission. I’m a bit hesitant to say that it’s common to struggle as a submissive, but I do know that a lot of what I consider struggle is actually self-created. That’s
The Internal and External Struggles of a Submissive Read More »
Self-worth is inherent in all of us. We gather our own opinions about ourselves and based on what we think other people think of us. I had a tendency to rate myself, at say five or six on a scale from one to ten, in terms of how worthy I was. Worthy of happiness, success, joy,
Submissive Self-Discovery Leads to Self-Worth Read More »
My family found out that I’m into BDSM/submissive and they are freaking out, what do I do? Coming out to your family, whether it be homosexuality or being kinky is a nerve-wrecking situation for anyone. Not being able to control when and where you family finds out this information would feel like a disaster but
How You Can Respond When Your Family Disapproves of Your Chosen Lifestyle/Sexuality Read More »
It can be quite obvious what the goal of orgasm on command training is, but there are so many things you can do with that goal to make it interesting and exciting for everyone involved. I’m going to talk about a few things that I learned about while doing the research for my own training,
Orgasm on Command Training – Ultimate Goals and Variations Read More »
Once you’ve decided to enter an orgasm on command training, it can help to learn what the submissive goes through to wire their brain so that they can hold back their orgasm to when you wish them to have it. It’s not easy. If you want to read the introductory article, check out Initial Steps Into
Orgasm on Command Training – The Process for the Submissive Read More »
