When you are looking for a Dominant for the first, or last, time, you have a few reasons to wonder if the person you see is compatible with you. After all, you don’t want to spend a lot of time getting to know someone if they are not going to be your perfect, or almost […]
7 Signs You are Compatible With a Prospective Dominant Read More »
I’m so glad I found your site. I am a large woman, about 275, who started exploring but has not yet experienced a D/s relationship. I think I’ve resolved much of my conflict about my sexuality, but I’ve some lingering issues to deal with from the last time I was thinner. I lost 90 pounds
How Do You Deal With Discomfort Being a Plus Sized Submissive? Read More »
I talk a lot about knowing your limits and talking about your limits with your Dominant but I believe this is the first time I’m going to talk about your partner’s limits and what they mean for you. As a refresher, limits are the personal boundaries that we place on ourselves pertaining to our life
The Real Truth About a Dominant’s Limits Read More »
Go to an event they said. But they never said what events exist. Well now you have no excuse. Here’s a short list of regional and national, and even some international events pertaining to BDSM and the kink lifestyle. Check them out, register and book your rooms. There is fun and education to be had!
A List of National BDSM Events – Attend One, or Two, or Three Read More »
Leatherstrap asks me: I played with a lady tonite who set out very clearly that she wanted to play rough – in fact she wanted to be brought to tears – She had a safe word which she didnt call but as the session went on it became apparent that she wasnt well – I
Why Might I Get Sick Suddenly During Play? Read More »
We are surrounded by boundaries and fences, limits, and “do no pass” signs. Everything we do has limitations and restrictions. So, it may come as no surprise that you, too, have limits you will not cross, whether in your relationship or for sex and play. Some limits are temporary, while others are permanent. Others exist
What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits Read More »
Everyone started here at some point or another. You may even be at this point right now. Brand new to BDSM, D/s or both and not sure what you would like in a relationship, the bedroom, with kink…. anything. And then you meet people online or face to face that asks you right off the
How Do I Know What I Like? I’m Brand New Read More »
Working outside the home is a requirement for most submissives in D/s relationships. Not everyone gets to be a stay at home submissive. We have family and kids, mortgages and debt to pay. Working is a part of living. But work does not have to be our life. It’s a struggle to change your power
5 Ways to Stop Thinking of Work When You Come Home to Your Dominant Read More »
Entering into a D/s relationship where you will have rules and behaviors expected of you is a daunting proposition for many submissives. How do you remember all of the rules? How do you remain accountable when you aren’t in the same place as your Dominant? It’s not an instant shift in mindset, but you eventually
Are They In Your Head Yet? – Listening to Your Internal Dom Read More »
Some of the first advice that I give to someone wanting to get off the computer and into the local community is to attend a munch. But at the same time, I know that attending a munch is a scary proposition. You will be meeting people you don’t know that are into kinky things, and
Don’t I Know You From Somewhere? – Encountering People You Know at a Munch Read More »
I was talking with a friend of mine awhile ago and she said something that really piqued my attention. She was telling me about her boyfriend and how upset she is over the fact that he won’t chase after her. They had some kind of argument and stormed out of the apartment. She got in
The Chase is On – Communicating Openly With Your Dominant Read More »
Disclaimer: I do not have children nor are they in my future. The post below discusses the issue of deciding to have children for a variety of reasons besides a natural progression of wanting them, having a partner that wants them and then working towards that end. When KnyghtMare and I got married one of
To Have Children Or Not, Now THAT is a Question Read More »
I’ve been involved with local and regional BDSM groups since I first learned about BDSM in 2003. You get to meet a lot of people during events and some of them have quirks and perversions that you’ve never heard of. You’ll meet white collar, blue collar and poverty stricken people in the same room enjoying
Rule #1 – Don’t Touch Anything Without Permission Read More »
Picture this: it’s Valentine’s Day and you have a romantic evening planned for you and your honey. How do you prepare yourself and your bedroom for a night of passion and bliss? Do you light candles, lower the overhead lights, play soft, alluring music, perhaps use incense? Maybe you even spread rose petals on the
The many lessons in life can be picked up in some of the most unusual places. The other day I was watching my cats and had a sudden realization that they way they live could have lessons for me and my submission if I wanted to see them. The truth is that you can pick
Everything I Know About Submission I Learned from My Cat Read More »
Imagine this; you are playing and happily enjoying what is going on between the two of you. As the scene continues you start to feel pushed to your limit, but you continue to play. Then, almost without warning, you hit a wall and (hopefully) safeword. You’ve just hit a limit. It could be a temporary
What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene Read More »
Jealousy. At one time or another we all have felt it. Handling jealousy when it comes to our partners is a trait we all should have, but many don’t. We get spiteful, possessive and plain horrible when we feel jealousy rear it’s green pointy head. Some people are more prone to feelings of jealousy than
Tearing Down the Green-Eyed Monster – Handling Jealousy Read More »
On the heels of “50 Shades of Grey” fame, there are a lot of new and curious people exploring BDSM than there has been in a long time. For the many people who encounter this site through a search, they may have their fantasies dashed by reading about the internal work and powerful submissives that
Separating Fantasy from Reality – Using Erotic Novels to Find Truth Read More »
BDSM and Sex Sex and BDSM They do not have to go together, did you know that? While much of what we do in the bedroom can be considered sexual or sensual in nature it does not mean that you have to engage in sexual contact during play. Oftentimes during negotiation people will forget the
Why BDSM and Sex are Not Always Connected Read More »
As with anything on Submissive Guide I do my best to provide you with accurate opinions and general viewpoints on topics pertaining to BDSM and submission. Readers such as you, tell me in a variety of ways what I should be focusing on from time to time by the amount of traffic or conversation a
The Top 7 Posts of 2012 on Submissive Guide Read More »
