Whether you’ve read 50 Shades of Grey or another drugstore dirty romance novel and then decided to go exploring in BDSM or you’ve found BDSM another way one of the first questions everyone has is are they Dominant or submissive? It sure feels like a good place to start and I am going to help […]
BDSM Basics: Am I Dominant or submissive? Read More »
Dear LunaKM, I am fairly new to the D/s lifestyle. A little over a month ago, I met a man and started developing a relationship with him. We had many conversations that were about everyday topics and found we had things in common as well as sexual and D/s conversations. He became my Daddy and
I’m Confused. He Wants to “Just Be Friends” While Ex is Visiting Read More »
When you first learned about submission or BDSM you may have felt a sense of coming home, of finally understanding what wasn’t sitting right for you. But along with that relief come questions. You thought you knew who you were, and now you’ve been thrown into a new world and you don’t know who you
Finding Your Way to a Genuine Self Read More »
Every day you go to work and are in charge of people, or you have a management position. Perhaps you just feel that being in control outside of the home is comfortable for you. But you come home to submit. Or maybe you are an extroverted person and love interacting socially but with the right
Dominant Personality with a Submissive Identity Read More »
You’re surfing the internet one day and come across a forum of people talking about their sex lives. It’s interesting to you so you stop and read a bit. Just when you thought you were like everyone else, someone mentions something that you enjoy doing during sex and the responses are, “Oh that’s kinky!” It
BDSM Basics: Am I Kinky If…? Read More »
Hi. My slave and I are going to a dungeon together for the first time. I’m wondering about how she should talk. She has rules for talking with me. But not for talking with others in the community. I know she should be respectful to all. But how should she address other Masters and slaves?
How Should a Submissive Act at a Dungeon Party? Read More »
Hi! My boyfriend and I both want a BDSM relationship, but we both still have roommates. He’s hesitant to continue the discussion on rules he would like for me to follow due to the fact that punishment for these rules would be hard due to lack of privacy. Any suggestions about discreet punishments? Having a
Ideas for Discreet Punishment Read More »
My boyfriend and I have only recently taken the baby steps from a vanilla relationship to a D/s one. I feel like I’ve followed all the suggested steps about how to transition a relationship, I follow submissive guide religiously, I’ve read lots of books and done plenty of research. We’ve talked and set down guidelines.
Why Isn’t Our Relationship Going Anywhere? Read More »
A Dominant’s collar symbolizes deep commitment in a D/s relationship. Explore what a collar means, how to prepare for it, and if you’re ready to accept this powerful symbol.
Expectations of a Collar: How Ready Are You to Accept One? Read More »
Hi Luna. I’m a sub and I have an online Dom. We have a lot of fun together but he wants far more time and play from me than I can afford to give. I told him this but he still wants more. I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t want to leave
Dominant Is Asking for More Time than I Can Give Read More »
If there’s one topic that comes up time and again on this blog, in readers’ emails to me and online forums is how do you care for bruises and other physical and emotional reminders of play? Since 2009 when I started writing this site I’ve returned to this topic time and again with interesting and
How to Care for Bruises and More BDSM Play Recovery Tips Read More »
Ms Luna, your guide has become my bible and I thank you for your writings. My first Dom/mentor/teacher and I have parted suddenly and unexpectedly. Since this is my first D/S relationship, what can I do to feel better about the raw unraveling and abandonment of feeling so alone? First, you are not alone. People
Advice On How To Recover From a Breakup Read More »
Hey lunaKM! I am quite new to this lifestyle, and the submissive guide has been so, so helpful. But I was wondering what’s the safest way to get in touch with potential online Doms? There are so many sites, I’m a little overwhelmed. Thanks, Megan :) Hi Megan! Any sort of communication online can be
How Can I Safely Contact Online Doms? Read More »
I see it all the time on discussion boards and we talk about it at social gatherings. I’ve even thought it a time or two. D/s relationships are better than vanilla ones. We see them as deeper, more intimate, better at communication and meeting the individual’s needs as well as the couple’s. For those of
Are D/s Relationships Better than Vanilla Ones? Read More »
Hello there! There is no “proper manner” for asking for a collar. It’s not a common expectation in the BDSM community. Some Dominants require that the submissive ask to be collared, others insist that it’s their responsibility to ask if the submissive wants to be collared by them. If you are familiar with John Norman’s
How do I ask to be collared? Read More »
Moving is hard. There are no mincing words about it and it’s probably very obvious that change isn’t easy. The other night I hosted the last Submissive Forum in my area. I’ve hosted them for 2 years, made a lot of wonderful friends and learned so much about myself and submission. There’s something about friendship
One is Silver and the Other Gold: The Importance of Friends Read More »
Question: I’ve been talking with a DOM who is considering me for sub training and wants me to go to him. What should I expect at the first face-to-face meeting? Meeting a Dominant for the first time can stir up a lot of emotions—excitement, nerves, curiosity, even a little fear. You might imagine it will
What should I expect the first meeting? Read More »
One thing I learned while putting together the Guide to Your First Munch was that when someone goes to a meeting for kinky people, with the idea that they are entering a whole new world, they think that all the courtesies and manners they learned before are somehow no longer extinct. People often ask me how they
Manners, Etiquette and Appropriateness When Interacting with People in the BDSM Scene Read More »
Yes, I had been in this lifestyle with the same Master going on six years now. I had just find out where he works, phone number etc. But I have not met anyone in his family or his friends. I am kept a secret and he is separated from his wife. He said to me
I’m a Secret From My Dominant’s Wife(Separated) and I Don’t Like It Read More »
I told my Dom I needed more to do, as far rules, responsibilities etc.. what are some good things for me to do?? We both work full-time but I need routine..any suggestions? He’s asking me to give Him examples and I have nothing.. thank you!! –Lovenvrdies Dear Lovenvrdies, Are you sure you need him to
I Need More Rules, But I Don’t Know What to Suggest Read More »
