Continuing from my previous article on preparing for your Dominant’s absence, today I want to talk about things you can do to help feel connected when you are not able to be together. In the last article, you learned a few good coping mechanisms for times when you feel alone. Working on hobbies, hanging out with […]
Connecting With Your Dominant While They Are Away Read More »
There are some pretty bad derogatory words in the English language. Ones then when uttered make people cringe and cry, scream and object (often loudly). So when I entered the BDSM scene 10 years ago I was on the fence about how these same terms can be used in a positive way, or at least
Slut Is Such a Dirty Word and I Love It! – Types of Humiliation and Degradation Play Read More »
One of the hardest things we do as submissives is asking for play. For many of us, coming out and saying we want play feels like we are topping from the bottom, stepping out of our submissive boundaries and doing something that isn’t in our character. But I’m here to tell you that it isn’t.
How to Ask for Play and Why It’s So Hard For Submissives To Do Read More »
As a novice submissive it can be an exciting endeavor to enter into a relationship right away before you know anything about BDSM or D/s, or even being introduced to the dynamic from someone you met online or face to face. People do it every day. It is also one filled with questions and uncertainty
Answered: Your Burning Questions About What Is Expected Of You As a Submissive Read More »
I’ve spoken to you about Safe, Sane and Consensual and about how it is the first safety mantra that people adopt as they learn about BDSM and kink relationships. Most BDSM munch groups around the world use SSC to define the play that is acceptable and how they prefer to present themselves to the vanilla
RACK: The Risk Acceptable Safety Mantra Read More »
Whether it be for a job or a family crisis, military service or a holiday there might be a time in your submission where your partner must be away from you for a time and might not be able to communicate as often as you’d like. How do you prepare for the loneliness, loss, and
Preparing for Time When Your Dominant is Away Read More »
The adventures in the bedroom or dungeon are a lot of fun and you can get lost in the intense responses and pleasure during these moments. It is not without its own challenge of safety and communication. When the intensity of activities go up it’s not uncommon for tops and bottoms alike to lose the
Understanding Vocal and Nonvocal Safe Words for Safe Play Read More »
It’s common for relationships that are D/s in nature to start out in the bedroom and then slowly move to fill part or all of your life. But the daunting task of adjusting to that transition is enough to scare people away from ever doing it or from maintaining it for very long. Not only
Transitioning from Part Time to Full Time D/s: How to Work Through the Challenges Read More »
Since the late 90’s there has been an increase in the number of books available for people wanting information about BDSM and D/s style relationships. I can’t say it’s a saturated market, but it is overwhelming sometimes trying to find quality material to read that won’t leave you confused or stuck in a “this is
The Top 3 Books I Recommend to Everyone New to BDSM Read More »
Your first scene with your Dominant is coming up and so far they’ve been pretty foggy as far as what will happen. You’ve never been involved in BDSM before but you are excited and scared for the upcoming session. What’s going to happen? What will you expect to see and do? A scene is in
The Anatomy of A BDSM Scene: What Happens? Read More »
Wants and needs. As novice submissives, we hear this phrase over and over. Make sure you know your wants and needs. Does this person or that person fulfill your wants and needs? How should we talk about our wants and needs with someone? First, let’s define them. Need: Something that is not negotiable for a
Why Identifying Your Wants and Needs is So Important as a Novice Submissive Read More »
When you are a single submissive it can feel like a lonely place. Every kinky place you go it seems like everyone is already in a relationship and there is no room for you. But that’s not true; being a single submissive can be a special time in your exploration and development. When you walk
Being a Single Submissive in a Couple’s World Read More »
I’ve written on the site about how you can work with the partner you have to bring out their Dominance or feel submissive in a subtle way and because of that, I have received a lot of messages of frustrated people trying to make their partner dominate them. The scenario seems to be the same, their partner
You Can Not Make Someone Be a Dominant Read More »
Here’s a scenario I get presented to me a lot in my email and pleas for help and advice: A submissive talks to a person identifying as Dominant online for a few hours, days or weeks. They have intimate talks, compatibility seems to be through the roof and the cyber sex and play, webcams or
Why That Dominant You Found Online Just Disappeared After a Short Time Read More »
I thought I’d tell you a personal story of how my life as a slave is developing in a unique and interesting way. It’s never been just KnyghtMare’s job to come up with ways to enhance and spice up our already powerful relationship and he loves to hear of things that I come up with.
A Slave Uniform – What’s It Look Like? Read More »
Weeding through the number of messages in your inbox asking to get to know you better is a daunting task to most single people, and being submissive looking for a Dominant is no different. Well, perhaps it’s a little different. The compatibility that you are looking for as a submissive is more specific and challenging.
Are There Basic Expectations in a Dominant That I Should Look For? Read More »
The other day I read a post on a forum where a new submissive had asked if there was a reason she was turned down from a Dominant who said she was too eager. She wanted to know why eagerness was seen as a detriment to a new relationship when all she wanted to do
How Being Too Eager Is Not Always a Good Thing for a Submissive Read More »
When a novice submissive first learn about BDSM or D/s power exchange it can be a scary place. The first thing I like to help these novices learn is about safety mantras, particularly the widely accepted Safe, Sane and Consensual or SSC. What is SSC? It’s a credo that people in the BDSM community use
Personal Safety Mantra: Safe Sane and Consensual (SSC) Read More »
Just because a person also loves having sex while rolling in jello does not mean they are compatible with you. That’s right, I just said it. You’ve searched the world over for someone interested in the same kinky things you are and when you found one, I’m telling you to hold it right there a
A Person is Not Their Kink: Jumping Into Bed With the Wrong Person Read More »
When we learn about pain processing in relation to play and scenes with our sadist partner it’s always a good idea to understand negative processing methods. The things that make handling pain and enjoying longer sessions harder and sometimes impossible. Hopefully, you’ve learned about your own negative methods in the previous video. Today we’ll talk
Learning About Positive Pain Processing Methods Read More »
