My boyfriend and I have only recently taken the baby steps from a vanilla relationship to a D/s one. I feel like I’ve followed all the suggested steps about how to transition a relationship, I follow submissive guide religiously, I’ve read lots of books and done plenty of research. We’ve talked and set down guidelines. […]
Why Isn’t Our Relationship Going Anywhere? Read More »
A Dominant’s collar symbolizes deep commitment in a D/s relationship. Explore what a collar means, how to prepare for it, and if you’re ready to accept this powerful symbol.
Expectations of a Collar: How Ready Are You to Accept One? Read More »
Hi Luna. I’m a sub and I have an online Dom. We have a lot of fun together but he wants far more time and play from me than I can afford to give. I told him this but he still wants more. I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t want to leave
Dominant Is Asking for More Time than I Can Give Read More »
If there’s one topic that comes up time and again on this blog, in readers’ emails to me and online forums is how do you care for bruises and other physical and emotional reminders of play? Since 2009 when I started writing this site I’ve returned to this topic time and again with interesting and
How to Care for Bruises and More BDSM Play Recovery Tips Read More »
Ms Luna, your guide has become my bible and I thank you for your writings. My first Dom/mentor/teacher and I have parted suddenly and unexpectedly. Since this is my first D/S relationship, what can I do to feel better about the raw unraveling and abandonment of feeling so alone? First, you are not alone. People
Advice On How To Recover From a Breakup Read More »
Hey lunaKM! I am quite new to this lifestyle, and the submissive guide has been so, so helpful. But I was wondering what’s the safest way to get in touch with potential online Doms? There are so many sites, I’m a little overwhelmed. Thanks, Megan :) Hi Megan! Any sort of communication online can be
How Can I Safely Contact Online Doms? Read More »
I see it all the time on discussion boards and we talk about it at social gatherings. I’ve even thought it a time or two. D/s relationships are better than vanilla ones. We see them as deeper, more intimate, better at communication and meeting the individual’s needs as well as the couple’s. For those of
Are D/s Relationships Better than Vanilla Ones? Read More »
Hello there! There is no “proper manner” for asking for a collar. It’s not a common expectation in the BDSM community. Some Dominants require that the submissive ask to be collared, others insist that it’s their responsibility to ask if the submissive wants to be collared by them. If you are familiar with John Norman’s
How do I ask to be collared? Read More »
Moving is hard. There are no mincing words about it and it’s probably very obvious that change isn’t easy. The other night I hosted the last Submissive Forum in my area. I’ve hosted them for 2 years, made a lot of wonderful friends and learned so much about myself and submission. There’s something about friendship
One is Silver and the Other Gold: The Importance of Friends Read More »
hello again, I’ve been talking with a DOM who is considering me for sub training. and wants me to go to him, what should I be expecting on the first face to face meeting.? wendylee Well, that’s a difficult question with a simple answer. You expect whatever the two of you negotiated would happen. I
What should I expect the first meeting? Read More »
One thing I learned while putting together the Guide to Your First Munch was that when someone goes to a meeting for kinky people, with the idea that they are entering a whole new world, they think that all the courtesies and manners they learned before are somehow no longer extinct. People often ask me how they
Manners, Etiquette and Appropriateness When Interacting with People in the BDSM Scene Read More »
Yes, I had been in this lifestyle with the same Master going on six years now. I had just find out where he works, phone number etc. But I have not met anyone in his family or his friends. I am kept a secret and he is separated from his wife. He said to me
I’m a Secret From My Dominant’s Wife(Separated) and I Don’t Like It Read More »
I told my Dom I needed more to do, as far rules, responsibilities etc.. what are some good things for me to do?? We both work full-time but I need routine..any suggestions? He’s asking me to give Him examples and I have nothing.. thank you!! –Lovenvrdies Dear Lovenvrdies, Are you sure you need him to
I Need More Rules, But I Don’t Know What to Suggest Read More »
My bf is vanilla but he’s interested in the lifestyle. I have the experience to teach him but I’m a sub. how do I educate him without affecting the power balance or offending him? Hi there! First, good on you for wanting to teach him what you know and for him wanting to learn! Does
How can I teach my boyfriend about kink without affecting the dynamic? Read More »
When learning about personal safety and BDSM you likely hear the word safeword more than once. A safeword is used as a last resort when you need the play you are engaged in to end. But there’s an unintentional negative stigma surrounding using your safeword that needs to be understood. You are not a failure if
Using Your Safeword Is Not a Sign of Failure Read More »
Dear LunaKM I am a novice sub who found her first Master about a 5 weeks ago. We live about 200 miles apart and have mainly instant messaged, telephoned and skyped. About 3 weeks ago we met for the first time and it was wonderful. He asked for my submission about a week into the
Is He Ignoring Me or Has He Moved On? Read More »
Oftentimes, the first lines of an email to me or an opening thread in a discussion group go something like this; “I’m new and am nervous to ask these silly questions so be nice to me.” “I’m really embarrassed to ask since I’m so new, but…” “I’m new to the lifestyle and overwhelmed with all
It’s Okay to be New – Exploring and Learning as a Novice Submissive Read More »
I have been in a D/s relationship for eight months, but he has a problem with moving forward, asking three things of me. Kneeling when he comes in, being naked, and calling him Sir. Calling him Sir, I have a hard time doing all the time. I feel that I want to know how he
Calling Him Sir Should Mean Something, Right? Read More »
Dear Annie, Well my question is quite simple. I’m a submissive crossdresser from the UK, and have been dressing for many years now. One of the main reasons I dress is because I have a very strong submissive side, and many of the fetishes to go along with that. My question is simple, I have
How To Approach Female Dominants on FetLife Read More »
The Birth of Safe, Sane and Consensual Historically, David Stein is the person who first coined the phrase in 1983 for the Gay Male SM Activists Group that he co-founded. It was then used as the slogan in the SM Rights contingent of the Gay Rights march to the capital in 1987. That’s right, the
Consent is Key: SSC and RACK Read More »
