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Do you have tips to navigate play for subs who have depression/low self-esteem?

We know submission can be powerful, affirming, and deeply validating—but when you’re carrying the weight of depression or low self-worth, that same vulnerability can feel overwhelming. You’re not alone in this. If you’re not seeing a professional to help improve your mental health, you can find a list of kink-aware therapists at kapprofessionals.org. Navigating play […]

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Any ideas for Anticipatory Service (I’d like to do more without their asking me)?

Question: I want to do more for my Dom in terms of serving without him asking me. Do you have any ideas? Answer: That’s a wonderful instinct, and it speaks volumes about your desire to deepen your submission and connection. Serving without being asked is often called anticipatory service—and it’s all about tuning into your

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What are your favorite BDSM-related podcasts?

With so many great BDSM-related podcasts out there, it’s easier than ever to learn, grow, and feel connected to the community. Whether you’re looking for educational deep dives, personal stories, or just good conversations about kink, there’s something for everyone. Here are a few of the podcasts I’m currently listening to: Erotic Awakening Podcast is

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When Submissives Go Wild: Sub Frenzy

Submissive Frenzy, or “sub frenzy,” is an intense psychological state where submissive desires feel overwhelming and urgent. It can cloud judgment, leading to risky decisions and emotional turmoil. Understanding its causes and signs—like desperation for connection, impaired judgment, and risky behavior—can help you navigate it safely. Read more here!

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How do you know if I’ll enjoy submission if I’ve only been exposed through erotic novels?

Question: I’ve been a voracious reader of BDSM and D/S erotic novels for years and am not sure if I enjoy it just as entertainment or because I feel like something might be missing from my life.  How do you know if you are a submissive, and if you think you might be, how do

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What to Do When a BDSM Scene Goes Wrong: Important Advice for Submissives

When a BDSM scene goes wrong, knowing how to respond can make all the difference. This guide for submissives explores common issues like ignored safewords, emotional triggers, injuries, and consent violations—plus practical steps to recover, protect yourself, and build resilience for future play. Stay safe, informed, and empowered in your BDSM journey.

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What kinds of punishments and rewards would you implement into a personal protocol as a single submissive?

Full Question: During my research on Submissive Guide, I’ve learned about personal protocol. I don’t have a dom currently and am looking to understand more about punishments and rewards for personal protocol. What kinds of punishments and rewards do you implement into your personal protocol, or would you recommend for a sub without a dom? 

What kinds of punishments and rewards would you implement into a personal protocol as a single submissive? Read More »

Should the non-kinky person make an effort to accommodate the kinky person’s needs and wants even if they are not interested?

Short answer: no. And the kinky person shouldn’t expect you to.  In any healthy relationship, whether kinky or not, communication, respect, and mutual understanding are key. If one partner has specific needs or desires, the other person needs to be open to listening and discussing them, even if they don’t share those interests. However, this

Should the non-kinky person make an effort to accommodate the kinky person’s needs and wants even if they are not interested? Read More »

How Do I Reconnect with My Submission When I Feel Disconnected?

Full Question: I’ve been with Master for almost 9 months, and although I love our relationship, I feel there is a disconnect with my submission. Recently, I’ve been acting out and just messing up. It’s not all a conscious decision; I just do some of it without thought or plan. I don’t know how to

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Can you have different tolerances to pain over time?

Full Question: I’ve identified as a masochist for a fair bit now, but I have recently discovered that I can’t handle as much as I used to. I’m just wondering, can someone who once enjoyed pain not enjoy it as much anymore?  Answer: It’s absolutely possible for a masochist’s tolerance or preference for pain to

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The Transformative Benefits of Journaling for Submissives

As submissives, we constantly learn and explore ourselves and the activities that bring us closer to our inner peace. We question our thoughts, ask deep questions, and look for answers. It’s part of what makes us so amazing, right? We are fueled by the passion to submit and serve. While exploring desires, setting boundaries, and

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