Choosing a collar is one of the most meaningful decisions a D/s couple can make. Much like an engagement or wedding ring, a collar represents commitment, devotion, and the unique bond between Dominant and submissive. That’s why the “perfect” collar isn’t about what looks best in a shop window—it’s about what carries meaning for both […]
How do we find the perfect collar? Read More »
Submissive mantras are powerful tools for grounding, focus, and resilience in D/s dynamics. Learn what mantras are, how they differ from affirmations, and why they’re especially valuable for submissives. Discover practical steps to create your own mantra and keep your submission intentional, centered, and joyful.
5 Simple Steps to Creating a Personal Submissive Mantra Read More »
Question: I am a house husband. My dom wife wants to be left alone after a long day at work to unwind, but I am so anxious to see her that she complains I am too needy. How can I, as a house husband, treat her better to show my submissive desires? Answer: One of
Defensive habits like fight, flight, freeze, and fawn often keep us from the vulnerability and openness submission requires. In this Solo-coaching session, we explore how these self-protective patterns show up in D/s dynamics, why they no longer serve us, and practical steps submissives can take to release them and build deeper trust.
Solo-coaching: Releasing Defensive Patterns as a Submissive Read More »
Question: How do you bring up wanting to escalate your relationship with your current play partner into a full dynamic? We have both expressed interest, but no concrete discussion has taken place. Answer: This is such a great question, because many of us find ourselves here at some point. Play partners can be wonderful, but
Question: Why is it called serving a Dominant? I don’t like that kind of phrasing and insinuation that I am somehow below the Dominant. Answer: It’s completely understandable that the word “serve” can rub you the wrong way. In everyday life, “service” often gets tangled up with ideas of being lesser, having lower status, or
Why is it called serving a Dominant? Read More »
Rules in a D/s relationship can be more than boundaries—they can be powerful tools for connection, growth, and maintaining the submissive mindset. In this article, I share how rules shape my submission, the emotional value they hold, and practical strategies any submissive can use to follow them with consistency and purpose.
How Rules In a D/s Relationship Can Have a Positive Effect on Your Submission Read More »
Discover how to write affirmations that truly work for submissives. Learn to replace negative self-talk with empowering beliefs, strengthen your submissive mindset, and integrate affirmations into daily life. This guide offers practical steps, examples, and insight to help you grow into the submissive you aspire to be.
Writing Submissive Affirmations That Actually Work Read More »
How long should you chat with a Dom online before meeting? A week is a fair start, but don’t stay stuck in endless texting. Learn when it’s time to suggest a coffee date, what their response can reveal, and how to spot if they’re serious—or just stringing you along.
How long should I talk with a Dom online before a face to face date? Read More »
Question: How would you express changes in your feelings over poly to your Master, when the second sub he is considering you do not like her, without losing your relationship with him? Answer: When we’re in a power exchange relationship, especially a poly one, expressing hard feelings can feel like walking a tightrope. What if
Getting into the submissive mindset can feel like chasing a moving target—blissful one moment, elusive the next. This article explores what the submissive mindset truly is, how to access it more consistently, and practical ways to sustain that feeling without burning out. Whether you crave a 24/7 headspace or just want to reconnect more often, this guide offers realistic advice, personal insight, and tools to help you find your way back to submission when you need it most.
How to Reach and Maintain the Submissive Mindset in BDSM Read More »
Absolutely—yes. And honestly, most people are. It’s easy to think we have to choose just one kind of submissive to be: service sub, brat, pet, slave, babygirl, rope bunny. The list of labels goes on, and while those identities can help us understand ourselves and communicate with partners, they’re not rigid boxes we have to
Can you be a blend of different submissives? Read More »
Question: I am just starting out on my sub journey. I know very little. That being said, I have learnt loads in the last few weeks. I have met a Dom, and we’ve been chatting, etc., and he’s been amazing answering all my questions. He is a sadist. We’ve just touched on punishment and he
What should I be thinking about when learning about punishment? Read More »
New to BDSM? Start here. This beginner’s guide introduces you to the basics of kink, from roles and terminology to safety, consent, and finding your place in the lifestyle. Whether you’re curious, cautious, or just starting out, this guide will help you take your first steps with confidence.
Start Here: Don’t Begin Exploring BDSM Until You’ve Read the Basics Read More »
Yes—absolutely, 100%, without a doubt—you need boundaries. With your Dominant. With your friends. With everyone you have a relationship with. A common misconception in BDSM is that safewords replace the need for boundaries. But the truth is, boundaries and safewords serve very different purposes, and both are necessary. Boundaries are personal. They’re your internal compass—what
Should you have boundaries with your Dominant, besides safe words? Read More »
The “princess submissive” is a unique archetype in the D/s world—graceful, playful, and full of charm. She (or they) brings a sense of elegance and fantasy into submission, blending soft vulnerability with a desire for attention, care, and adoration. A princess submissive isn’t just about being spoiled. It’s about being cherished. These subs thrive on
What is a princess submissive? Read More »
What if the parts of yourself you try to hide are the exact keys to deeper, more authentic submission? In this article, we explore your shadow side—the emotions, traits, and desires you’ve labeled as “bad”—and how bringing them into the light can lead to personal growth, stronger D/s dynamics, and greater self-acceptance. You’ll also learn practical tools like journaling, self-reflection, and the Johari Window to guide you on this powerful journey of integration and healing.
Solo Coaching: Embracing Your Shadow Side: A Submissive’s Journey to Self-Acceptance Read More »
We know submission can be powerful, affirming, and deeply validating—but when you’re carrying the weight of depression or low self-worth, that same vulnerability can feel overwhelming. You’re not alone in this. If you’re not seeing a professional to help improve your mental health, you can find a list of kink-aware therapists at kapprofessionals.org. Navigating play
Do you have tips to navigate play for subs who have depression/low self-esteem? Read More »
Question: I want to do more for my Dom in terms of serving without him asking me. Do you have any ideas? Answer: That’s a wonderful instinct, and it speaks volumes about your desire to deepen your submission and connection. Serving without being asked is often called anticipatory service—and it’s all about tuning into your
Any ideas for Anticipatory Service (I’d like to do more without their asking me)? Read More »
Struggling to speak up when something feels off in your dynamic? This article offers real talk and practical tips for submissives who want to give feedback to their Dominant without stepping out of their role.
