charmed-blyss

blyss started her journey in the Lifestyle community openly in the late 90s and hasn't looked back since. She’s a Lifestyle educator; was interviewed for and featured in the Lifestyle documentary Kinky that has been screened in film festivals country wide, most notably at Cinekink. Her fortes are cooking and other domestic services She can be found on: FetLife - charmedblyss Twitter - @charmedblyss

Uprooting Self-Sabotaging Behaviors: Learning How to Make Changes that Stick

By / 9 minutes of reading

There are many relationships both inside and outside of the Lifestyle that exist under undue strain and eventually crumble under the weight of the behaviors that are a result of self-sabotage, and all too often these habitual patterns aren’t recognized though they are repeated with great frequency. A cycle of strife is perpetuated year in […]

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M/s and When Life Happens: Dealing With Health Challenges and Death

By / 9 minutes of reading

When we imagine an ideal world, it’s pretty safe to say that for most of us, that perfect world wouldn’t include illness, disabilities, and death. Everyone would have bodies that are strong, capable, and able to do any and all activities the heart desires. On this side of creation, that type of world doesn’t exist,

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M/s and When Life Happens: Unexpected Happenings

By / 7 minutes of reading

Over the past few months, my life has been a whirlwind of obligations, setbacks, injuries, working with an aging parent, and apparently an abundance of emails… ‘Life happened’ all over my perfectly scheduled routine and pristinely managed emotions. In the vanilla world ‘life’ is expected to happen – meaning, we expect the unexpected because that’s

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Below the Mood of Blue: One Girl’s Experience With Depression

By / 7 minutes of reading

Disclaimer:  Though this post deals with depression and suicide, please note that blyss is not a mental health professional, this article isn’t written to diagnose or outline professional treatment for any mental illness. A short list of suggested reading and resources will be provided at the end of the post. If you are having thoughts

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Back Off Bitches! Feeling Territorial and Jealousy as a Slave

By / 5 minutes of reading

There are probably two very sensitive and deeply moving confessions that a slave could make – admitting to being territorial and/or jealous. These demons are a complete terror and have visited many relationships since the beginning of time. In order to move about freely and enjoy the fruits of a healthy M/s relationship, they need

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That Anxious Space from the Petition to the Collar

By / 5 minutes of reading
This entry is part 7 of 16 in the series Collars and Collaring

In the post  Single in the Scene Part IV: Petitioning, I address the matter of presenting a petition to a potential Master. However, I didn’t fully address that space between the time of presenting the petition and (hopefully) the collar, at least not at length. But, this can be one of the most trying times for

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Single In the Scene Part VIII: Transformation Happens

By / 7 minutes of reading
This entry is part 8 of 8 in the series Single in the Scene

There’s going to come to a point, I pray, that the single slave will be not so single and will be heading towards being owned. So for the last message in this series, I thought I’d talk about releasing the fear of transformation. There’s a song from the late 80’s “Don’t Make Me Over” by

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Single in the Scene VII: The Unaccompanied slave

By / 6 minutes of reading
This entry is part 7 of 8 in the series Single in the Scene

During this past MsC (the Master/slave Conference) in September, there was a discussion about being an unowned slave at an event and the downside of such. And before then, I had participated in a discussion on FetLife – more of an open dialogue between the owned and the unowned about the tension between the two

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Single In The Scene Part VI: Vulnerability

By / 7 minutes of reading
This entry is part 6 of 8 in the series Single in the Scene

I’m of the opinion that there are many slaves who are unowned for one reason: fear of being vulnerable. The way relationships tend to flow in the vanilla world vulnerability isn’t a necessity to maintain the relationship. Usually most are not surrendering to their partners and both tend to rest assured that they are equals

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Single in the Scene Part V: The Truth about Singlehood

By / 8 minutes of reading
This entry is part 5 of 8 in the series Single in the Scene

This is kinda pithy, so please hang in there! In this series thus far, I’ve done my absolute best to keep it positive. Maybe in some ways, I’ve managed to gloss over the ‘truth of singlehood’ of a slave, which in a way slightly misses the mark of my desire which is to help those

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