Many submissives have jobs where they are managers, business owners, or in charge in some way or another. Sometimes it can be challenging to re-enter your submissive head-space at the end of a busy workday. A submissive can use rituals to help them achieve the right mind-space, leaving the outside world behind and regaining the D/s world.

Using Rituals

What is a ritual? A ritual is a specific set of actions one performs for a chosen reason. As Wikipedia states:

The purposes of rituals are varied;

  • religious obligations or ideals

  • the satisfaction of the spiritual or emotional needs of the practitioners

  • strengthening of social bonds

  • social and moral education

  • demonstration of respect or submission

  • stating one's affiliation

  • obtaining social acceptance or approval for some event

  • the pleasure of the ritual itself

    ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ritual)

A ritual of entering a submissive headspace can combine these purposes. You may strengthen your bonds with your Dominant by doing actions they ordered or increasing your identification with your submissive side by performing a task you would not normally do. You can demonstrate respect to your Dominant by taking time out of your day to prepare for them. Not least, you can give yourself the pleasure of getting away from the outside world and entering a place that offers you the comfort and satisfaction you find as a submissive.

If you’d like to learn more about rituals and how they can amplify your power exchange relationship, check out “ 5 Ways Rituals Enhance Your Relationship with Yourself and Your Dynamic here on Submissive Guide.” You can also pick up The Ritual of Dominance & Submission: A Guide to High Protocol Dominance & Submission by David English on Amazon.com.

Portals and Preparations

You can view your front door as a portal into the D/s world. Then create a ritual at the door. One submissive told me her Dominant meets her at the door when she gets home from work. She kneels before him and hands over her keys and wallet. The removal of these objects makes her a subject of her Dominant.

Luna wrote an article about the transition from work persona to home submissive in Leaving Work at the Door: How to Find Your Submissive Mindset Once You Are Both Home.

If your house is warm and private enough, removing clothes or changing clothes (to something sexy, not your big flannel jammies) will complete the transition to submissive head space.

If your Dominant is not home to greet you, preparation rituals can put you in a submissive mind space. A basic shower after work can be used as a cleansing ritual to receive your Dominant while washing away the business persona. Closer attention to intimate shaving, using scented soaps or perfumes, and applying make-up can be used as rituals for submission. If I do not see my Dom for a while, I may spend extra time plucking eyebrows or dabbing on perfume to feel the centering power of submission after a busy day.

If you usually use make-up and perfumes, save a particular brand or style only when you are in submissive mode. My Dominant encouraged me to start painting my toenails during sandal weather as a reminder of my submission, but when I visit him, I apply a brighter color.

Nadu

If your Dominant visits your home or comes home later than you, it may be mentally centering on assuming a ritualistic position just before they get there. The Gorean position of Nadu ("pagar nadu") is particularly apt for this. The basic position is to sit on your heels, back and shoulders straight, chest out, and stomach in. You keep your head up but eyes downcast. Spread your thighs and rest your hands on them with your palms facing up. It is easy to feel submissive in this pose, and it is a beautiful way to greet one's partner. For Goreans, this position is often taken by a pleasure slave.

Submissive Guide’s Guide to Submissive Positions: A Submissive Positions Handbook

Collar

One of the most important methods to regain the submissive mindset is through the collar. If you don't wear a collar daily, you can have your Dominant fit a collar around your neck when you come home. If you can't show a regular collar for family or other reasons, your Dominant can find a collar that can be mistaken for a necklace. You will know the significance, but it can pass as 'vanilla.'

I wear a chain collar every day. When I feel tense or need to reconnect with my submission, I reach up and touch the collar. I feel connected with my submission and can continue what I do in a grounded fashion. I also have a dress leather collar, which I wear before an event. Once the collar is on, I am in a submissive mode as I can feel the restriction around my neck.

These are just some of the many ways that a submissive can re-enter the D/s world after a day out in the business/ work world. Learn more about adapting your submissive life while working outside the home in kallista’s article, Some Rules for the Working Submissive.