Continuing the work on your training resume, I'd like to talk about mapping out how you dream of your submission being. This is a discussion of ideals and dreams. You can be as fanciful as you want right now, we will narrow things down as we go along. There are 3 things I'd like to focus on in this post. What your ideal relationship is, the structure you'd like to have and the level of protocol you dream of having. This works for kinky bedroom relationships and also full-time dynamics.

Get out pen and paper because what we are going to do is make a map of our ideal relationship. If you have ever made a mind map, you know what we are about to do; if not, below are some links to information about mind maps. A mind map is a colorful whole brain approach to taking notes and putting together thoughts and common ideas.

An excellent free online tool for mind mapping can be found at

Ideal Relationship

Your first mind map should be about your ideal relationship and what you are looking for in a partner. As with all mind maps, the very center should be an image or central thought. Let's put your partner there. Branching from that you can put physical features that attract you, activities you enjoy, emotional attachment levels and future desires for children, income, housing and other future wants and needs. Don't leave anything out.


The second mind map is about the structure of your D/s dynamic. Do you want monogamy or poly-relations? Are you looking to be a pet, or perhaps a service submissive? Is Internal slavery your desire? How strict should the person be? Does punishment and discipline for rule violations intrigue you? How frequently do you want to play?

This is just a jumping off point, you can expand and explore everything you are looking for in the D/s part of your relationship.


This mind map will probably be the most difficult. In this mind map, I'd like you to think about example rules and routine you'd like to develop. Think about how you'd like to act, what you dream about doing or saying in specific moments of your day or relationship. Do you like Gorean living? Perhaps a tiered system of a poly household? Dream up your rules and rituals that you may want to explore.

When you have completed your mind maps they should help you see how your dreams and future goals go together, how your ideal relationship is planned out in your mind and is now on paper. You can use this to help you communicate to your partner or when looking for that special person. Keep it in your training resume binder.