Dear lunaKM,

So...i am a collared submissive & wear my Ring of Steel collar 24/7, proudly. Problem is: i work in a food service position, where jewelry is prohibited & my supervisor is threatening to take disciplinary action should i wear my collar during my next shift (despite my working while wearing it for nearly 2 years now with no issue). i'm understandably upset by this; whilst my collar is of vast importance to me, this is my job which i the only means allowing me to contribute to household expenses. my Master has suggested several things, including calling out the more important food safety violations as well as (should worse come to worse) an alternative to my collar. As for me, no job is more significant than the ability to wear my collar, each & every day. i don't want to remove my collar nor do i want to sacrifice my livelyhood. i'm torn. i don't want to remove my collar nor do i want to leave (or be fired from) my job, disappointing my Master & leaving Him 100% responsible for the entire household's expenses. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated! i feel confused, lost, & saddened by this.

I can understand the attachment to your collar. I too wear a stainless steel collar and have done so for 8 years. When it was new I really did believe that the physical collar was my collar and without it I was lost and lacking. But over time, the realization was that it was simply the outward symbol of what was internalized.

Your partner's idea to call out "more important" food safety issues isn't going to help your case any. It's not a rational solution to your situation.

I think you already know what the decision must be so I'm not going to sugar-coat it. It doesn't matter that you've been able to wear it for 2 years, what matters is that now they are enforcing the no jewelry policy and you must adhere to it.  When I worked food service wedding rings weren't allowed either. Do you think you are more special than those that have committed themselves in marriage but had to leave their wedding rings at home? And more importantly, do you think that makes them any less married?

You mentioned that losing your job would disappoint your partner. So why are considering keeping the collar on when if you do you'll lose your job and burden your partner and bring about his disappointment?

You have only two choices here. Take it off and keep your job, or leave it on and lose your job and disappoint and burden your partner.

And that's what it comes down to. Yes you have emotional attachment to what the collar means, but you have to follow the rules of your job if you wish to keep it.  If it were me, I'd take the collar off. Sure it will hurt, but think about a ritual you could hold when you get home to put it back on. That could become something special for the both of you. A welcome home ritual that could help you transition from a work mindset to a submissive one.  Remember the physical collar isn't actually your collar. Your collar is your commitment to serving your partner and the promise you made to them when they first put it on you.

--lunaKM