Question: I am a house husband. My dom wife wants to be left alone after a long day at work to unwind, but I am so anxious to see her that she complains I am too needy. How can I, as a house husband, treat her better to show my submissive desires?
Answer:
One of the hardest things to navigate in a D/s dynamic is when our desires to serve collide with our partner’s need for space. You’ve shared that your Dom wife wants to be left alone after work to unwind, while you feel so eager to connect that she sees you as “too needy.” That tension is real—but it doesn’t mean you’re failing as a submissive. It just means your needs and hers are showing up in different ways.
The first step is clarity. Ask your Dom if this is about needing a short decompression window—say, 15 minutes to an hour after work—or does she feel emotionally unavailable more often once she’s home. Knowing whether this is about transition time or something broader and potentially more serious will help you understand what’s really happening.
If it’s simply a need to reset after work, then you can actually play a beautiful role in creating that transition for her. Talk with her about ways you can prepare her decompression space before she arrives. Could you have her favorite beverage waiting? Meet her at the door and help her remove her shoes? Lay out comfy clothes or draw a bath? Maybe even make sure her bag has a spot ready so she can drop it and fully let go of the workday. Small, thoughtful gestures like these communicate your devotion while still honoring her request for solitude.
The key is what happens next: once you’ve given those acts of service, step back. Let her have that buffer without interruption. I know waiting can be hard when you’re eager to reconnect, but it’s part of your service—giving her what she says she needs, not what you hope she wants.
You might also suggest building a reconnection ritual for when she’s ready. That could be as simple as sitting together for a hug, sharing about your days, or kneeling for her to place a hand on your shoulder as a grounding moment. A ritual provides a clear marker that her “unwind time” is over and your together-time has begun, which can soothe your anxiety while respecting her rhythm.
Ultimately, submission isn’t about constant access—it’s about thoughtful, intentional service. By helping her shed the weight of the day, you’re showing her how much you care, while also creating a more peaceful and satisfying transition for both of you.