This week's video tip is on Red Flags of Fake Dominants.
The question I was asked today is, "How do you identify fake Dominants and what are some red flags to be watchful of?"
First, what is a fake Dominant? A fake Dominant is someone who is just out for sex, fantasy and an easy lay. Fake Dominants may also be predators. Most of the time you will be dealing with the fakers, so that's what this video is all about.
We now have online and real time versions of Dominants. I'm going to blend the two because with this day and age it is likely that you meet someone online and move to real life.
The most obvious fake Dominant will only want to skip to the sex. They may start their conversation out sweetly enough, but it will soon become sexual oriented. Cyber sex may be suggested or you will be pushed to play on the first date or well before you'd be ready to. They don't get to know you for who you are first. These are the booty chasers.
There are the Dominants that exaggerate their experience level. I personally don't care what someone says but unless they can prove it a 25 year old dominant does not have 10 years of experience unless they are counting masturbation fantasies. You can't judge experience by a number. I can say I have 5 years experience, but if part of that I was 'on a break' or not in a relationship, that's not experience.
Fake Dominants will also try to Dom you without a relationship present. This could be dictating what you are to wear for first meetings, when you are to be available online to chat, etc. Setting up rules and trying to make you do them before it is agreed upon is a huge red flag.
Some Dominants I've been introduced to online say they have a lot of references and can list names, but when I ask for phone numbers or email addresses, they appear to not have them. References are meant to be useful. If they can't give you contact information so that you can check them out, that's a huge red flag. Honest Dominants will not only give them to you but be happy that you check them out.
Fake Dominants may also try to get you to not meet them in public. Oh, just come to the house we can get to know each other in private then. Yeah, right. Don't meet anyone you don't know in a private location! Set up your safe call, if the Dominant refuses to let you check in, leave immediately!
Another red flag to be cautious of is if they want to get to know you, you are on good terms and they won't share their phone number, where they live, etc but they expect you to. Also, if you are only able to call between narrow time frames. This is a red flag of not only fake Dominants but also cheaters! Another clue of cheaters is disappearing online without warning and doing it frequently. I call this wife-watch. They bail so that the wifey doesn't see what they are doing.
The last one I'm going to cover today is a Dominant requesting or forcing you to change something before you've agreed to a relationship. This could be along the lines of changing your hair because they don't like it, losing weight, or breaking up with friends because they are 'bad influences'. No one should make you change. A good Dominant will like you for who you are when getting to know you. There is no reason you should try to fit someone's mold.
Fake Dominants are everywhere and have many tricks up their sleeve. I'm sure I've even scratched the surface of what things they can do to try to get you to believe in them and open up. Stay safe, use your common sense and if it feels wrong it probably is.
Do you have red flags that I missed here? Please add them to the comments!