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What's The Big Deal With BDSM Checklists?

For a novice submissive exploring SM, a checklist can open up a world of fantasies or scare you right back into your light kink and rough sex. Checklists are not meant to scare you or overwhelm you, but I've seen lists that are more like lists of all sorts of rare fetishes and extreme play that only a few ever explore. Why you would want or need that on a novice checklist is beyond me.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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What Everybody Ought To Know About Basic Needs and Need Deficits

The next time you take a look at your needs list, make a note of how important that need is. You can always scale them so that you can make sure your base needs are being met. Never settle for less than what you require. Submissives have needs too, make sure yours get met.

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Create a Daily Cleaning Routine That Works

It doesn't have to be a headache every time you arrive home and see the house in disarray. With these easy to implement steps you can keep the house maintained in just a few minutes each day. These may seem obvious, or common sense ideas but they really do work and with just a few minutes each day can free your time to meet the other demands of your day.

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10 Red Flags of Bad or Abusive Dominants

I'm going to give you 10 Red Flags that can indicate you are with an abusive person. This is nowhere near an exhaustive list. There are many many more flags out there. See the list of other essays below if you want a more in depth article.

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What You Need To Know About Using Contracts to Negotiate a Relationship

In a D/s relationship, it is not unfamiliar to also draft a contract in which to declare your intentions with each other. These are not required, of course, and some people will proclaim the invalidity of these documents to anyone who will listen. I feel that the creation of a contract has some very useful and valuable importance to a growing relationship.

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How to Write a Submissive Life Mission Statement

A life mission statement is a way of saying, "these are my goals and code of conduct for how I want to live my life." There is no wrong or right way to write one but there are several steps that can bring you to a workable statement that will help give you focus and direction to your life.

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DIY BDSM Toy Instructions Online

I’ve started a list of all the places online where you can find instructions for DIY projects to fill your dungeon. Many are very cost efficient. I recommend looking at all of them!

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31 Days To Better Domestic Service: The Ten Minute Challenge

The secret to a clean home and less stress over tidying up is to break it into smaller tasks. Try 10 min clean. It's a breakthrough in your chore routine.

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Another 7 Things You Can Do Today to Improve Your Submission

There are always things you can do but may not see as something that would enhance what you already do for your Dominant or for yourself.

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