Accepting an invitation to visit friends that are into BDSM or the lifestyle can lead to a wonderful experience and the development of close friends. That is if you keep yourself aware of house rules and relationship dynamics.
Generally speaking, a couple of D/s friends are not going to drop their dynamic around you since they know you are into BDSM as well. This could lead to some awkward pauses or missteps on your part if you aren't used to hanging out with them. Here are some things to keep in mind.
- Ask before showing up if you need to give them a head's up you are on your way. Some people are more comfortable without clothing on and this would give them time to dress.
- If you would like to meet in a vanilla atmosphere, let your friends know. They will certainly shift gears if it will make your more comfortable. If you like the protocol displays and are comfortable with it, let them know that also.
- Be on your best behavior until you learn how the house is run. Just like at your family's place; you could have to take your shoes off when entering the house, offer to help with the meal or drinks if they are being served and don't snoop around rooms that you don't have permission to be in.
- Don't correct the submissive's behavior, word choice or mention their attitude. That is not your job. Doing this could not only embarrass the submissive, but anger the Dominant.
- Do not assume that play will happen. D/s couples and friends don't play every time they get together. If play was not mentioned on the invite, expect that it will not happen.
Yes, these can seem common sense, and I'm so glad you would think so. Not everyone has this information at hand and that's why this post exists. What other tips do you have for someone that may have never been invited to a D/s household?