BDSM checklists all live under different names. You can call them limit lists, negotiation lists, negotiation checklists and perhaps ones I've never heard. They are all based on a similar idea. If you make a list of the things you enjoy or don't enjoy you can easily share them with the person you want to play with to find out if you can build a scene that will satisfy both of your needs and desires.
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Service is any activity or function that you fill to make your dominant partner's life easier. This could be as simple as preparing their coffee, laying out their clothes for them or performing domestic chores. Yes, it does include the play and sex aspects of some relationships, but not all of them are wired this way.
Read The Article | Find SimilarNot long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
Read The Series | Find SimilarSafe, green cleaners for all of your home maintenance.
Read The Article | Find SimilarWhen luna indicated that she was going to emphasize domestic service at the Sub Guide this month, it reminded me that when I tell people I am primarily a service submissive I am frequently asked: “What is that?”. The follow-up question is often, “What do you get out of that?” It seemed an opportune time to tackle these questions. (Sometimes the follow-up question is “What are you secondarily, then?” To which I always reply, “Whatever She needs me to be, of course.”)
So what is a service submissive? Simply put, it’s a sub (male or female) that takes care of household chores and similar tasks. Cooking, cleaning and other domestic duties might be performed by a service submissive. We essentially take the role of butler, maid, chauffeur, gardener or cook.
Read The Article | Find SimilarSubmissive Guide has a lot of resources on clean up, aftercare and check-ins that get lost in the archives. I've pulled together what I have here, as well as all over the web to make this a comprehensive post for all things "after the scene". Bookmark it, share it, use it.
Read The Article | Find SimilarTaking precautions when it comes to the noises that can come from play when you have kids in the home.
Read The Article | Find SimilarBaby steps are the key to successful, repeatable changes and developing new routines.
Read The Article | Find SimilarDeveloped by Ryder Carroll, the idea of analog/bullet journaling is kind of elegant in its simplicity. You have one notebook. Everything goes in that notebook. So what can you put in it that's related to submission?
Read The Article | Find SimilarUsing your bullet journal to create scene reflection spreads is a great way to cement memories and your own feelings of the play you engage in. Here are two spread designs that you could use.
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