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What Do Female Dominants Desire in a Male Submissive?

Do dominant women like this, that or the other thing? Unfortunately, there is no one set of ideal submissive traits that can be emulated. Indeed, if you ask these questions of twenty different Dominas, you’ll get at least twenty different answers. Each Dominant has her own idea of what makes a perfect submissive or slave. Some like youth and physical fitness, others like maturity and experience, tall or short, eloquent or not-so-much, pain slut or light-weight, sissy or not, emotive or the strong/silent type… well, as you can imagine, that list goes on and on. The problem, as I see it, is that too many (prospective) submissives get bogged down in trivial matters when they should be focusing on simple truth and sincerity.

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Discipline and Punishment

Discipline comes in all shapes and sizes.It is a part of molding a submissive’s behavior and making corrections when they step out of line. Punishment though is a different beast. Punishment is for very severe infractions. I consider this to be things that could be deal breakers or relationship-enders. Punishment of this caliber should be rare or not at all. These differences are discussed and explored in the following series.

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Can I Be Abused in a BDSM Relationship?

A healthy BDSM relationship is one where people exchange power, sensations or experiences in a consensual, mutually fullfilling way. These exchanges increase self-esteem and all parties are are actively invested in the well-being of their partners and themselves.

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Sub v. Slave: A Second Opinion

To me there is quite a difference between being submissive and a slave. A submissive retains the power over themselves and their body. Many are not going to agree with me on this. I don't feel that discipline, true discipline should be put in place with a sub. If a submissive still has power over themselves then how can they really mess up to the point of punishment outside of play. Slaves on the other hand, particularly those who live it 24/7 sometimes need punishment just for the sake of training, being kept in line and as a reminder of their place.

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Why Safety is Preached to Novices and Why It's Important to Know Anyway

I believe that as you mature in your place in BDSM the often preached safety items can become obsolete or you may develop your own opinions that don't match what you were taught as a novice. There's nothing wrong with that, but knowing where you started and the importance of knowing these basic safety rules is that foundation.

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If I feel Jealousy can I still be Poly?

Almost all of us have felt jealousy at one time or another. The best thing anyone has ever said to me in my understanding of jealousy was that “jealousy is just another emotion”. Why should we treat jealousy any different than any other negative emotion?

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My Toys Or Yours? Building Your Own Toybag On a Budget

Just because I am a bottom does not mean that I should not have a variety of toys that I own. The more the idea came to fruition, the more I became convinced that I should not be without a decent toy bag, just because I was without a steady partner.

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Single in the Scene Part I: Boundaries

By setting our boundaries, we can ensure that we are navigating the ‘lifestyle’ waters as safely as possible. This is a personal responsibility that each of us have that is at its core about self preservation.

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Fantastic Submissive Videos for Learning and Growth on Kink Academy

If you can't get out to munches in your community or conventions held around the world the next best thing is a website focused on kink education. I have nothing but praise for Kink Academy and the quality educators and topics that they cover on Kink Academy.

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Understanding Vocal and Nonvocal Safe Words for Safe Play

When the intensity of activities go up it's not uncommon for tops and bottoms alike to lose the ability to communicate clearly. So, something developed to help us is safewords.

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