How To Find Someone to Play With at a Party and Other Negotiation Basics

One of the more daunting prospects as a single kinky person or someone who is open to casual play is approaching others at a play party with whom you might be interested playing. It’s often called pick up play because you are simply trying to pick someone up for the purpose of play. Whether you are a top or a bottom, the cold approach is scary. But there is help!

Some Thoughts on Domestic Service from a Male Submissive

When luna indicated that she was going to emphasize domestic service at the Sub Guide this month, it reminded me that when I tell people I am primarily a service submissive I am frequently asked: “What is that?”. The follow-up question is often, “What do you get out of that?” It seemed an opportune time to tackle these questions. (Sometimes the follow-up question is “What are you secondarily, then?” To which I always reply, “Whatever She needs me to be, of course.”)

So what is a service submissive? Simply put, it’s a sub (male or female) that takes care of household chores and similar tasks. Cooking, cleaning and other domestic duties might be performed by a service submissive. We essentially take the role of butler, maid, chauffeur, gardener or cook.

What is Kajira?

I am Kajira. I am a slave. First off that makes me a tool to be used at my Master’s every whim. Whether that is for sexual pleasure, for comfort, for massage, or just to sit in position as commanded.

Dealing With Submissive Burnout

There are times where I don’t feel like being a slave. The good thing, burnout isn’t a permanent problem.

The Chase is On - Communicating Openly With Your Dominant

It’s hard sometimes to open up and talk about what’s going on. Yes, it is much easier for one party to just assume that the other party knows what’s going on when in reality; they don’t even have a clue. How is a slave’s Master to know that the slave is struggling with keeping in the mindset they need unless the slave speaks up?

Single In The Scene Part VI: Vulnerability

I’m of the opinion that there are many slaves who are unowned for one reason: fear of being vulnerable. I believe with all my being that if we don’t start reconciling ourselves with vulnerability, what we give in regards to service will come more from the surface than the core.

More Red Flags for Everyone - Personal Safety and Warnings

Everyone’s safety is extremely important of course, but in the BDSM community, it is the people who give themselves up the most that have a greater chance of being hurt; submissives.

Reciprocity: Expectations of Transparency of the Dominant

Is it okay for the D-type to withhold information from their s-type?

BDSM How To: Wax Play

A fantastic little how to get started with Wax Play! Important points include candle temperature and what you need to get going with your own scene.