Some Thoughts on Domestic Service from a Male Submissive

When luna indicated that she was going to emphasize domestic service at the Sub Guide this month, it reminded me that when I tell people I am primarily a service submissive I am frequently asked: “What is that?”. The follow-up question is often, “What do you get out of that?” It seemed an opportune time to tackle these questions. (Sometimes the follow-up question is “What are you secondarily, then?” To which I always reply, “Whatever She needs me to be, of course.”)

So what is a service submissive? Simply put, it’s a sub (male or female) that takes care of household chores and similar tasks. Cooking, cleaning and other domestic duties might be performed by a service submissive. We essentially take the role of butler, maid, chauffeur, gardener or cook.

Single in the Scene Part I: Boundaries

By setting our boundaries, we can ensure that we are navigating the ‘lifestyle’ waters as safely as possible. This is a personal responsibility that each of us have that is at its core about self preservation.

Male submission – Financial Domination

There are several different types of Financial Domination, including dynamics which do not involve the dominant receiving any money whatsoever. This is often not understood when some people rail against Financial Domination as a legitimate kink.

Expressing Your Submission (with hair!)

Talking to your Dom about the way you keep your hair (the colour, the length, the style of cut, etc.) can give your Dom some great opportunities to exercise control over you in a new way, and thereby give you the opportunity to grow into a new kind of submission.

An Accidental Outing: Encountering Other Kinky People in Your Vanilla Life

The key is making sure that your newfound friends understand your comfort level at being identified as a kinkster. If you get that out into the open from the start, you’ll be fine!

Master/slave Relationships in Black and White

It’s not uncommon for a black person entering the Lifestyle to wonder, is it acceptable for me as a black woman (or man) to have or serve a white Master?

Empowerment, Not Exploitation: Women Activists are Wrong About the Kink Community

I am a submissive. I have never felt exploited in any way. In fact, I feel empowered. I feel empowered in a way I have never felt before.

Born Again into Kink: Discovering Kink at Middle Age

What's it like to discover BDSM later in life?

Don't Judge A Label By Its Cover: Dispelling Stereotypes of D/s Roles

Personality traits do no indicate what label that person may wear in D/s or BDSM. Learn more ways we apply stereotypes and how to dispel your mistruths.

The Role Sex Plays in a D/s Relationship

Sex and how we've learned about sex can form our own opinions about how sexual D/s forms in our lives and how we respond to it. The emphasis of sex in a D/s relationship comes about in a variety of forms and is only limited by your imagination. What role does it play in your relationship?