My First Anticipatory Service and 3 Lessons It Taught Me

In essence, anticipatory service is about being able to see patterns in the procedure, and it can be difficult to track patterns across a wide array of your Dominant’s vocational, recreational, and habitual tendencies. If you have just one aspect to focus on it, increases your ability to observe and retain their pattern of doing things in that area so you can help them through their day efficiently with anticipatory service.

What Do Female Dominants Desire in a Male Submissive?

Do dominant women like this, that or the other thing? Unfortunately, there is no one set of ideal submissive traits that can be emulated. Indeed, if you ask these questions of twenty different Dominas, you’ll get at least twenty different answers. Each Dominant has her own idea of what makes a perfect submissive or slave. Some like youth and physical fitness, others like maturity and experience, tall or short, eloquent or not-so-much, pain slut or light-weight, sissy or not, emotive or the strong/silent type… well, as you can imagine, that list goes on and on. The problem, as I see it, is that too many (prospective) submissives get bogged down in trivial matters when they should be focusing on simple truth and sincerity.

Why The Prince Charming Dominant Doesn't Exist

It's funny to me to see people wanting a Dominant but then looking for "chemistry" as well. They want to fall in love with the Dominant of their dreams. Apparently, these submissives have come into the lifestyle thinking that a Dominant is BDSMs version of Prince Charming. Ladies, He simply doesn't exist either in the Vanilla world or in the lifestyle. Most Doms I know have regular lives to live and when their backside itches they scratch it. They fart when they eat beans and burp when they drink a beer. They wake up with bags under their eyes and a 5 o'clock shadow just exactly like their vanilla counterparts. But here we are hoping like crazy that he will forever and ever look like a hottie in leathers while always having a desire to flog our submissive little behinds.

Some Thoughts on Domestic Service from a Male Submissive

When luna indicated that she was going to emphasize domestic service at the Sub Guide this month, it reminded me that when I tell people I am primarily a service submissive I am frequently asked: “What is that?”. The follow-up question is often, “What do you get out of that?” It seemed an opportune time to tackle these questions. (Sometimes the follow-up question is “What are you secondarily, then?” To which I always reply, “Whatever She needs me to be, of course.”)

So what is a service submissive? Simply put, it’s a sub (male or female) that takes care of household chores and similar tasks. Cooking, cleaning and other domestic duties might be performed by a service submissive. We essentially take the role of butler, maid, chauffeur, gardener or cook.

The Balance of Responsibility in a D/s Relationship

With all BDSM relationships varying so dramatically, it's hard to make a general assumption on who bears the burden of responsibility. It's important to embrace the responsibilities you do have and to act with great diligence when performing those duties.

Single in the Scene Part IV: Petitioning

Petitioning is an acknowledgment of structure and formality; it is definitely a humbling experience for a slave. It is also a way for a slave to solidly express their desires – no hemming and hawing, no beating around the bush, just a determined statement of the desire.

How I Help Our Finances Without Knowing the Numbers

I don't need to know the numbers to know that if we aren't eating out, the shopping list stays short, and we aren’t wasting the food that we are buying.

Micromanagement and Macromanagement: What's the Difference?

Like everything in life, there are pros and cons to both types of management styles and I want to share some of those with you now.