Communicating While Submissive

Doms keep telling us that they’re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it’s hard! Especially when it’s something they might not want to hear.

Stop Sub Shaming: It’s Not Cool to be Judgy

It’s not cool to sub shame. But, in this world of kink, it’s a very real concern. Here’s how you can identify it and what you should do when your own thoughts lean towards being judgemental instead of open and accepting.

Non-sexual Service and How To Add It To Your Dynamic

Using my experience as a service submissive, I'd like to share what non-sexual service is and help you figure out if service is something you want to explore. I'll talk about a few different styles of service you could learn. Then we'll cover how you can start adding aspects of service into your relationship.

Why BDSM is Not D/s

BDSM and D/s. Some see it as the same, I seem them as two very different things. Here, I plan on explaining the how's and why's of my position. I am not seeking to change anyone's opinion, as you have a right to your own opinion, as I hope you will remember that I do also.

A Feminist Submissive - Does Such a Person Exist? Yes! And I'll Tell You Why

Moving to a personal level, I have identified with feminism since I could say the word. As I grew up, I would say that my ‘type’ of feminism was definitely more of a political viewpoint. I felt that I needed to be strong and in control. I had to be a partner with my spouse, and he felt I had to be independent and make my own decisions. While this helped me develop into the strong, independent woman I am today, it also created a vacuum in my personal life. I had to be in control all of the time, and eventually, I realized this had cost me much of my expression of sexuality and my feelings of femininity. I went into the exploration of the lifestyle looking to fill a need, to find out what was missing in my life.

Some Thoughts on Domestic Service from a Male Submissive

When luna indicated that she was going to emphasize domestic service at the Sub Guide this month, it reminded me that when I tell people I am primarily a service submissive I am frequently asked: “What is that?”. The follow-up question is often, “What do you get out of that?” It seemed an opportune time to tackle these questions. (Sometimes the follow-up question is “What are you secondarily, then?” To which I always reply, “Whatever She needs me to be, of course.”)

So what is a service submissive? Simply put, it’s a sub (male or female) that takes care of household chores and similar tasks. Cooking, cleaning and other domestic duties might be performed by a service submissive. We essentially take the role of butler, maid, chauffeur, gardener or cook.

Using Your Fear for Better Submissive Growth

Just because we have fears doesn't mean we have to let the fears dictate our actions or responses. This means we need to be vigilant with our emotions. By this I don't mean controlling them, it is important to feel negative emotions as well as positive ones, we don't want to repress our negative emotions but rather be aware of them and how they can affect us.

Keep Your Voice: Your Rights as a Submissive

Here are some plain, matter of fact words of advice for new submissives. Don't let Hollywood form your thoughts, get the real information!

The Art of Apology: Receiving an apology when you don’t think one is necessary

Maybe you know a frequent apologizer, or maybe you’ve been surprised, but at some point in your life, you’ve probably had someone tell you, “Hey, I’m sorry!” and your immediate response was, “What on earth are you apologizing for?”

Wax Play Review and Thoughts

Let's share a few, quick, thoughts and bits of advice if you’ve been toying with the idea of adding wax to your toy chest. Explore what wax play is and isn't, types of wax that are safe to use for this type of play and the variety of ways to go about it!