For a novice submissive exploring SM, a checklist can open up a world of fantasies or scare you right back into your light kink and rough sex. Checklists are not meant to scare you or overwhelm you, but I've seen lists that are more like lists of all sorts of rare fetishes and extreme play that only a few ever explore. Why you would want or need that on a novice checklist is beyond me.
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As a submissive, one of the first things you will be asked by almost every Dom/me is: what are your limits? You will encounter this sometimes in chat, in play, and when negotiating a relationship with a new Dom/me. If you are playing with a new Dom/me and aren’t asked this question, my advice is not to play with the person. I have heard Dom/mes say that They don’t play with safe words or limits because They know what They are doing. How can a Dom/me know if you have health issues or triggers or are just plain terrified of something unless you tell them?
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It’s very easy to get overwhelmed and have far too much to do with what feels like no time to do it. When searching for a way to help myself figure out how to organize my tasks so that I know how to prioritize them I came across 2 methods that work well.
Read The Article | Find SimilarNot long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.
Read The Series | Find SimilarIf you’ve just started out in BDSM and have asked a few questions, it is very likely that you have been directed to use a checklist to become familiar with what you may or may not like in play and roles and fetishes.A checklist can be very helpful for you when you are first starting out. You can learn what you might like to try and get answers to things you don’t know about. Some of the more detailed checklists can seem overwhelming but please realize that you don’t have to like everything. Pick and choose and be honest.
Read The Series | Find SimilarLove wants to permeate you in every way. Let it.
Read The Article | Find SimilarThe pressure to be compatible in all aspects of your relationship—including the bedroom—is one that is acutely felt, regardless of whether you’re up for sex multiple times a day, a few times a week, or only once in a blue moon.
Read The Article | Find SimilarIt can be difficult to achieve a public dynamic that fits the needs of all parties while remaining within the confines of public social expectations.
Read The Article | Find SimilarEveryone has time in their lives where things don't feel like they are going their way at all. It can drag you down or you can search for the positive.
Read The Article | Find SimilarCan a journal help you when you are single or brand new to submission? And what would you put in it? Let me share with you a few ways that a journal can help you grow in learning and submission as a single submissive and as a new person to BDSM.
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