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BDSM vs Abuse

The core of BDSM is consent. No one will disagree with this. We are all aware, hopefully, that abuse is not consensual. If you feel that what is going on is ‘not right’ then you certainly should investigate if it is abuse or not. Some of what you may feel could not be abuse at all, but it’s good to know for sure. Learn how you can see the differences for yourself.

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Online Submission

Exploring submission online is a growing reality. Chat networks, IRC chat rooms and websites developed for real-time fantasy all have areas where the D/s subculture thrives online. They have developed online protocols, rituals, belief systems and several new words the enhance the fantasy online.

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On Perfectionism as a Submissive

None of us have it together. None of us are perfect. But we can learn from each other, cheer each other on when we falter and get inspired by our successes.

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Ornamental Value: A Reflection on My Submissive Style

Living with my Dom for a longer period of time has allowed us to develop some rough routines and expectations that we’ll continue to develop as time progresses, and these have begun to help me form answers to the questions that I’ve been asking on and off from the beginning of my submission.

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Overcoming a Limit (A Reflection)

Overcoming limits is a part of the journeys we take as subs. It’s a healthy, often invigorating challenge.

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Overcoming Frustration and Anger as a Submissive

Frustration is a normal human response. It can get out of hand and escalate to anger if not handled well. As submissives, we seem to deal with frustration more openly than others in the lifestyle.

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Pain Processing

Sadomasochism is the giving and receiving of sensations. In a lot of cases, this also includes pain. Many of the sadomasochistic tendencies bleed into our relationships in some form or another so what better discussion than to talk about processing pain. Now, no matter what processing method you use, there are ways you can learn to process pain differently to enjoy pain play more fully, allow you to take more pain and to push your pain edge further.

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Paralysis of Analysis: Over-thinking Your Submission

You become paralyzed in thought. Sometimes, that thought becomes so big and overwhelming, it can cause an interruption in daily living

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Patience - Submissive Meditation Monday

Patience plays an important role in the life of a submissive. Spend some time with me today to reflect on patience.

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Play Parties

When you enter the local BDSM community one of the events you may be exposed to is a play party. A play party is an essentially a party where BDSM play can occur. Groups hold parties as a way to learn and educate on safe play methods, chat about topics and generally hang around.Learning about play parties may be intimidating at first but they don’t have to be.

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Purging Your Emotional Garbage Can Will Prepare You Better for Service

I'm sure we've all heard that this or that person comes with too much baggage. The reason I see that this is an issue at all in new relationships is due to the way it's handled. That baggage, whether it be debt, past partners still present somehow, grief, emotional issues or any other items that are brought in can weigh hard on the responsibilities of the new partner and how they interact with each other. Now, couple that with this unreal belief that a Dominant will 'fix' all that for the submissive and you are dealing with an explosive situation.

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