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Feeling Like a Failure - The Crash and Burn of a Slave: A Personal Story

My life was spiraling out of control. It’s been over 18 months and I’m still not back to the sense of joy in my submission I used to have. I’m getting there but I feel like a failure. It has come back pretty strongly and I’m relearning who I am and who I want to be this time around.

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Lessons in Submissive Speech

Not long after my first step into the real world of BDSM I learned of a phrase that to this day has no real definition that I can pin to it. That phrase is “speaking submissively.” To me, there is no way to speak submissively that isn’t also speaking respectfully and with deference. Many other people speak the same way in situations that call for it, like in front of a judge or to the president for instance.But I still get questions about how a submissive is supposed to say x, y and z so I thought that I’d do my best to convey what I think would work in a variety of circumstances so that if the occasion arises that you need to “speak submissively” you’ll have something you can say.

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How Rules In a D/s Relationship Can Have a Positive Effect on Your Submission

Rules, instructions and assignments are things that are given to me by my Dominant for very important reasons. To follow them should bring me the pride and happiness that I feel for him, and remind me that he cares for me. Rules are in place to keep me in line, place my heart and mind in the submissive mindset, and to make sure that I hold myself in his honor.

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5 Ways to Bring Out Your Dominance In Bed

I've had a question recently from a submissive woman who has been asked on occasion to be assertive and dominant in bed by her Dominant. She says she can't connect with that because she is submissive and has difficulty being assertive in the bedroom. I can understand where she is coming from with this, and I'm certain that you do as well.

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There Is No Such Thing as Vanilla Life When You Are 24/7

In many of the groups I frequent a common thread is how to keep the spark alive when vanilla life gets in the way of your 24/7 D/s or M/s relationship. These people feel overworked, stressed and taxed by the daily things that take up their day and they say that they are having problems staying connected as their roles dictate.

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How To Overcome The Outside Forces That Stress Us

You will find these annoyances everywhere; anything outside of the relationship that causes undue tension within a pairing, they can be vanilla or lifestyle, major or minor issues, overt or subtle.

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The Internal and External Struggles of a Submissive

Submission definitely isn't easy. No matter what direction your journey takes you will have moments where struggle and strife challenge you to continue your submission.

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Shame Shame, I Know Your Name - Shame and the Lifestyle

Even though I knew the lifestyle is what I had looked for, I still felt ashamed for wanting to be a part of it. I felt what I was doing was wrong.

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How To Get Over Being Angry When Punished

Having a hard time getting past being angry with your Dominant when you've been punished? Mrs. Darling provides some great advice on processing your emotions surrounding corporal punishment.

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Am I Submissive?

So, you want me to tell you how you can tell if you are submissive or not? Asking someone else if you are submissive is like asking a blind man what color your dress is. Is there some magical online quiz that can say whether you are submissive or slave? Unfortunately no and I don't think I'd listen to the results of one if it existed either. Submission isn't something you can find in a self-help book or a therapist. Submission is a calling.

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