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7 Things I Wish I'd Known When I Was New to BDSM

There is always time for a bit of education and knowledge before exploration. It can keep you safe, it can make you more aware, it can keep you safe and it can be fun. What 7 things did I learn that I wish I had known a LONG time ago?

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The Sexual Submissive

If you believe yourself to be a sexual submissive then I urge you to become comfortable with who you are and not try to force yourself to fit into any other person's idea of what you must be.

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For Single Submissives

Embracing your single submissiveness is a strong and empowering trait. You can live a fulfilling singlehood if you remind yourself that there is much to do before you are ready to accept someone’s control of you.

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For Male Submissives

While this site is predominantly written by and for female submissives, a lot of what we write about can apply to male submissives too. But there are topics that are specific to male submissives and relationships where the male is submissive and we’ve curated them into a single collection for you here.

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The BDSM Safety Mantras

The mantra “Safe, Sane, Consensual” (SSC) is probably one of the first things that someone new to the scene learns. But did you know there is more than one mantra you can choose to apply to your style of play? “Risk Aware Consensual Kink” (RACK) is an alternative and more common preference for the experienced player. The key to them both is Consent.

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A Feminist Submissive - Does Such a Person Exist? Yes! And I'll Tell You Why

Moving to a personal level, I have identified with feminism since I could say the word. As I grew up, I would say that my ‘type’ of feminism was definitely more of a political viewpoint. I felt that I needed to be strong and in control. I had to be a partner with my spouse, and he felt I had to be independent and make my own decisions. While this helped me develop into the strong, independent woman I am today, it also created a vacuum in my personal life. I had to be in control all of the time, and eventually, I realized this had cost me much of my expression of sexuality and my feelings of femininity. I went into the exploration of the lifestyle looking to fill a need, to find out what was missing in my life.

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The Anatomy of A BDSM Scene: What Happens?

Let me describe to you what a first scene might be like.

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How I Balance Independence and Submission

You can most certainly be independent and submissive. Just be sure that you’re honest about what you want in your submission.

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What Does a Dom Mean When He Says, "You Need Training"

When a Dominant tells you that you need training, what does he really mean?

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Everything You Need to Know to Have an Amazing Anal Sex Experience

Have no fear, anal play doesn't have to be scary! Let's answer some common questions about anal sex before you dive in... hehe.

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